Inside My Head There's No Telling What You'll Find

Another boring Deanna post

2012-01-31T17:09:00.001-05:00

I had yet another doctor's appointment last week, which basically lead nowhere, again. I can scream until I'm blue in the face that I don't have a migraine disorder, that I'm fairly certain I have an anxiety disorder, but it doesn't say "MD" at the end of my name, so my opinion doesn't count. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of not being listened to, I don't understand why the doctors won't listen to me. I don't understand why no one will listen to me. I just want to get better. I want to not be dizzy, I don't want to make that obnoxious noise, I don't want to start shaking uncontrollably at work for no reason, I don't want to lay awake listening to my pulse pound in my neck for hours because no one will listen to me.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of being called lazy. I'm tired of being told I'm not trying. I'm tried of being afraid that every time I go to work that I'm going to fired for something that I can't control, for something someone did *to* me. I'm just tired of all of it.

In other news, I went to a job fair today for the place I interned at over the summer a few years ago. Oddly enough, even though the website said that there were job openings that I qualified for, I'm not qualified, because 1. I graduated too long ago (2009). and 2. the positions are not actually available any more. So basically it was a wasted trip.

I feel like I'm stuck and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm never going to get out of this rut and it keeps getting deeper. I hate my job, I hate it. I never wanted to work there to start with, and for a while it was okay, I could live with it, but I just can't live with the stress of being in that place every day, of seeing that girl who effectively ruined my life walk on like nothing ever happened, asking people why I'm upset with her, like she doesn't have a clue and making me look bad for "holding a grudge." I have developed serious health issues because of her, and no one cares.

I've tried to get people to listen to me, but they don't. No one cares enough to even try. I'm just going to be stuck in this horrible place without any chance of ever getting out forever.

About the work

2012-01-22T20:23:00.000-05:00

So, since it's the end of the fiscal year at work, they're cleaning house, getting rid of a bunch of dead weight and stuff.

I've got to say that I'm kind of worried. I mean, it's not like I'm a bad employee, but over this last year I have been involved in some things that aren't exactly the best way to show that I'm actually a good employee. (Namely the several issues, and the new ongoing issue with Abby, my arch-nemesis.) I mean, when it comes to the fact that I'm sick, they can't fire me for being sick, I have a doctor's note saying that I may have to leave work early for medical reason, and every time I've left work, my eyes have been rolling into the back of my head and the CSMs have forced me to leave. I don't call out very often, but when I do I can't move. I'm not abusing the fact that I don't have to work if I don't want to. I volunteer to stay late and pick up shifts when I'm feeling okay. But honestly, I'm worried that I'll do some little thing and get fired because I'm sick. Get rid of the dead weight that can't make it through a shift half the time they're scheduled.

I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything to warrant firing, and their are definitively people who are way worse at their jobs that I am. I do my best with what I can do. Let's just hope for the best.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I'm buying a giraffe with three of my friends.

Books read 5.
currently reading: A Study in Scarlet by Sir Athur Conan Doyle

This book. Seriously

2012-01-15T00:26:00.000-05:00

So, like most of Nerdfighteria, I'm currently reading John's latest masterpiece, The Fault in Our Stars. (This will be a spoiler free post, mostly Deanna-like angst about it) I haven't finished read it yet, mostly because I read, like, half a chapter and I have to stop and cry. It's beautiful, and honest, and just so John Green.

I tried to talk to some of my real life friends about this book, and they aren't reading it, so they can't understand how horrible and perfect and that same time.

I don't want to finish it,because I don't want it to end, last time I felt like that about a book was Paper Towns, and before that Harry Potter. John's work is just so amazing. I'm really happy that I know other nerdfighters so I can send vague text messages about whatever part of the book I'm at and they just get it, and know what to say. I just wish that I could talk like that to my real life friends. That would be nice.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY.
Today is awesome because this book, and my cat hasn't bitten me today.

Books read in 2012: 4 (I read Betrayed by PC and Kristen Cast since my last blog)
Currently reading: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I sort of want to punch optimistic people in the face.

2012-01-08T22:30:00.000-05:00

(Author's note, this kind of turned into a giant person rant. So... yeah...)

Not, like, all optimistic people, just the ones the keep telling you that everything will get better if you just hope and wish that it will. Those are the people I want to punch in the face. My friend, Q, is like this. She claims her sudden burst of happiness and sunshine is because she's pregnant and she doesn't want to think negative because it will effect her baby, but it really just makes me want to punch her in the face.

It's sort of to the point now that I don't want to be around her, because she keeps telling that my life will improve it I want it to. Mostly by saying things like "Well, I've been hoping to get pregnant before I turned 25, and now look at me! All my dreams came true." *punchs in the face*

My other friend, whom I don't have a code name for, told me I should stop telling people I want to punch them in the face, because eventually someone is going to believe me and I'll probably get in trouble at work, but the thing is, I'm 100% telling the truth when I say I want to punch people in the face. I'm not actually going to do it, but I really *really* want to.

Know who else I want to punch in the face, Abby.

You may remember Abby from a previous blog where she decided it was acceptable to tell a whole bunch of people I was in an inappropriate relationship with the front end manager.

Anyway, she thinks we're friend again, because she was walking by and I told her that a girl that used to work with us is pregnant by the "boyfriend" who repeatedly cheats on her, in an attempt to save their relationship. I was forced to work side by side with Abby at the service desk today. The CSM did apologize to me and tell me that they had no one else to help at the desk. People have mostly seemed to take my side in the "Abby is a horrible person" front, or they just know I don't like her very much. Either way, it's very appreciated that people try to keep us apart.

She keeps trying to talk to me. I don't understand why. She stands firmly behind what she said, although it was an outright lie. She's told other people, who have then told me, that she doesn't understand why I'm mad at her, and is still upset by what I did to her. I still haven't figured out what I've done to her btw, besides having her called into the office to make her stop sending me threatening text messages and inform her that if she kept telling people about my non-existent relationship with our manager she'd have the consequences she was hoping I would receive would be all on her.

I guess I should really, you know, not care anymore. But I work in a very small store, well it's huge store, but small, you know, people wise. Rumors are crazy there, it's kind of exactly like high school. Only with adults. I have to see this stupid jerk everyday, and she keeps trying to talk to me, and I don't want to hear anything she has to say unless it's an apology for being a psychopath, but she's never going to do that, so I don't want to hear her voice.

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I have some sort of panic/anxiety disorder, and although I've probably had it all my life, she, and her big stupid mouth, definitively triggered something that makes it worse. I'm not really sure if the dizzy in tied into it, but probably. Anyway it's always worse at work, and it's at it absolute worse when she's working near me.

A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in the break room and some one asked me how I was feeling, because I'd been quite dizzy and went home early a few days that week. She legit asked me what was wrong with me. I told her I was dizzy and she asked if it was a new thing, like we haven't work in the same store since I first got sick. I told her that I'd been dizzy since Easter. She was like "Oh, that's really weird. Do you know why?" I said "I can't think of a single stressor from around that time that would trigger an anxiety disorder." Very sarcastically. And she said: "Oh well, you should see a doctor." No shit, asshole, I have been.

I just really don't like her.

I really shouldn't let her bother me, but I can't help it. I honestly didn't think there were people like her in the world. People who would literally destroy other people for no reason. I didn't do anything to this girl besides tell her to stop texting me. I just don't get it. And she doesn't understand why I want her to leave me alone. I just want to scream every time she's near me, but at the same time I feel like I'm just overacting.

I don't know. I'm just mad I guess.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I got to rant that out, really.

Book read in 2012: 2
Currently reading Delirium by Lauren Oliver

Book Blog Post.

2012-01-05T11:32:00.000-05:00

I have resolved to keep up with this blog more, and I've decided that means when I see questions in other people's blogs that I follow that say "ANSWER THESE" I probably will.

On Tuesday Rachel, wrote a post asking two questions about books:

1. What is the last book you read and what are your FEELINGS about that book?

2. What are your FAVORITE books and WHY are they your favorites?

So, I'm going to answer them. Here we go.

1. The last book I finished was Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins. I really loved it, I read it in, like 12 hours, and it only took me that long because I had to work. I just loved how believable and real life like the characters are. I really enjoyed Anna and the French Kiss, so I knew I would like Perkins second book, but seriously, LOVED IT. The relationships between all the different characters were just so believable. That's what I really enjoy in a book, a world were everything could happen.

I don't really read love stories all that often, so when I do, I seem to really enjoy the change of pace for my regular reading.

Clearly, I'm not the best at giving book reviews, but either way, I really liked this book, and I look forward to her next one.

2. My favorite book is A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. I've read it, like nine times, and each time it feels different. I tend to re-read it when I'm in a bad place and it fixes me, reminds me that things get better. That book means more to be than most people. I feel better knowing that it's within an arms reach, I feel safe with it around. To me that book is so much more than just the story, it's how it found me and the place I was in when I read it the first time. That book saved me, and continues to save me every time I read it.

The Harry Potter series has had a similar impact on my life. That series is basically my entire life, and I wouldn't change that for anything. I wouldn't be Deanna without Harry Potter and those characters, the people I've met because of them.

That's pretty much what I have to say about books at this time.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because it's pizza party day at work, and even though I do not like pizza, I'm going anyway to hang out with my friends.

Books read in 2012: 1
Currently reading: The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson

New Year, Let's try again.

2012-01-01T22:11:00.001-05:00

First of all, I want to thank whomever the Anonymous person was who left the beautiful comment on my last post. Thank you very much for your kind words.

Nextly, I want to approach the topic at hand: 2012.

Since I have utterly failed every single goal I set for myself last year, I'm not even going to look back and recap them, therefore dwelling, I'm just going to set new goals, which will look weirdly similar.

Goals for 2012.
1.) Blog once a week in 2012. It honestly shouldn't be that hard. I should be able to find five minutes to angst about my life each week, since that's pretty much what my blog is anyway. I mean, I really shouldn't be self conscious about what I blog is about. I really do appreciate the people who are kind enough to read and comment on my blog, you honestly have no idea. You guys read my blog because can, not because I'm forcing you to.

2.) Save up enough money to get my own apartment, if not actually move into one. I'm opening a savings account on Tuesday, so hopefully, I can make this a reality. Hopefully I won't be blogging from my the same room I was blogging from when I was 12 when the Apocalypse comes in December.

3.) Read 50 book this year. I am going to do this. I can do this. I've already read one. It's only January 1st. That's a good start I think.

4.) Learn to be happy. I've never really really quite understood how to be happy. I'm going to try to figure it out. I'm going to try to make myself happy. I was so close this year. I could taste happiness, but I depend way too much on other people to make me happy. This year I will learn to make myself a better person.

5.) Write more. I basically wrote nothing last year. I need to start writing again. I think that this will help with number 4.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I'm setting goals, and setting goals is a step in the right direction.

Books read in 2012: 1
Last book Read: Lola And the Boy Next Door By Stephanie Perkins

Wow, so it's almost 2012.

2011-12-29T19:28:00.000-05:00

And I haven't posted a blog since September. *sigh*

I guess it's mostly because not much has changed. I'm still weirdly sad about nothing, and I still miss my friend. I mean, I've been having such a horrible time with this weird sickness that no one can seem to figure out. I've been to a couple specialist and had a whole bunch of tests done, but apparently there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I've just been extremely dizzy since April for no reason.

I haven't had anyone to really talk to since my friend left at the end of August. I mean I used to just have weird awesome conversations with him about nothing, and it would just make me feel better about everything. Since he transferred stores I've, just, felt like I have to hold everything in. I miss having that person around that I didn't have to pretend with, and I have no one to replace him with because my other friends really want to listen to me complain about being sick. It's like they think I'm just talking for no reason.

I don't know, I'm just looking forward to 2011 being over and hopefully 2012 goes a lot better.

Honestly it can only go up from here.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

So, yeah, I failed at BEDA

2011-09-09T14:31:00.000-04:00

I failed horribly at BEDA, not because I didn't want to blog everyday, or because I couldn't but because I felt like I was slowly becoming more and more depressed and talking about it wasn't making it better. I'm feel so alone, like no one listens to me, and that I lost the only person who ever made even a little bit of effort to actually try, and sadly enough it was my boss, who's been promoted and moved on, but he was my friend, and I miss him.

All I really want to do is talk about how I miss my friend, but I don't want to think about how much I miss him because I don't think I should. Even in this half a paragraph I'm mad at myself for thinking about it. I feel like I should just move on, but I don't really know how. I mean, I feel like I annoy my other friends when I talk about it. I don't really think my other friends, Q mostly, understand that I literally would talk to this guy about anything, that he knows more about what's going on with my medical condition than they do, or even, if I'm being honest, my parents. He'd ask me what was going on and actually listen to me, and not automatically change the subject. Even if he wasn't actually interested in what was going on, he was amazing at faking it.

I afraid that talking about it on here that you'll get annoyed with me and stop reading my blog, and you guys, you guys mean a lot to me. Even if I'm horrible at commenting on your blogs that I read regularly. I just don't want to mess up everything I've worked so hard for the last year to get, most meaning friends, because I got too attached to someone who wasn't supposed to be around for very long anyway.

I mean, Q is a great person and an awesome friend, but I'm so afraid that she's going to get annoyed with me and stop talking to me, just like everyone else. Every other one of my friends has gotten annoyed with me and just left me, and I terrified that it's going to happen again. I'm so bad at making and keeping friends. I know I've talked about that before, but I don't want to lose her too.

I'm sorry for being a loser and annoying, and I'm sorry for not following through on the BEDA promise I made.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I well, nothing awesome has happened today, but I only have a 4 hour shift, so I guess that's pretty awesome

Books Read: 16
Currently Reading: Marked by PC and Kristen Cast

So we kind of have an answer.

2011-08-17T22:14:00.000-04:00

Firstly, I would like to thank Chris and Laura for you're kind words on yesterday's blog. It's nice to know that someone is listening. It meant a lot to me. Thank you.

I had a doctor's appointment today, and I sort of have an answer. I have either scarring in the deep tissue of my right inner ear, or something wrong with my nervous system/spinal cord. I have a clean MRI so we're starting on the simple things first. However, the medication for this is one that I always took for this issue, and all it does is make me tired, and when I'm tired I'm even more dizzy, so yeah for no real answers.

It's just so frustrating, because I told the doctor I already tried this medication, that it was the first one we tried, and he didn't care or listen. It sucks, not even people I'm paying to listen to me will listen to me.

Is it weird that I just want sit down with my manager and tell him this? because honestly, he's legit the only person who at least tries. He doesn't always act but he listens. I am going to be a very lost person when he leaves.

Last night was pretty funny, but I was honestly too upset to enjoy it like I usually do. How sad is that? The one thing I do that's supposed to make me happy, to be my release, couldn't even cheer me up.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because, well, I guess I kind of got some answers, not good ones, but it's something.

Because I matter.

2011-08-16T13:11:00.001-04:00

The last few days I've felt really horrible, not health wise, but mental health wise. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, no one ever listens to me when I talk. I get lost in the shuffle, my requests get ignored, nobody seems to care what I think. I feel like a shadow most of the time. Like no one would notice if I wasn't there because no one notices when I am there.

Most of this comes from work, no matter where I've worked, I'll ask for something simple, no being scheduled on Tuesdays, being trained on the service desk, and I will be ignored. Completely ignored, time after time after time until I finally just give up and stop asking and watch as people who don't work as hard as I do, who don't deserve to have those opportunities, who haven't worked with the company as long as I have, get the simple things I want.

This happens at home too, which is why I spend most of my time, much like Harry Potter, alone in my room pretending I don't exist. It's just easier that way.

At work I'm just tired of being walked all over. I don't know if you remember the person I called "Abby" in a previous blog, but in a short recap, she's the one that decided it was okay to tell half the store I was sleeping with my manager because I told her the guy she liked was a tool and I wasn't going to be her friend if she kept talking about him. (It's a bit more complicated, but that's the basics.) Abby started working in the store in November, I started in August of last year. She has gotten trained on the service desk even though she claims that she doesn't want to learn and just wants to transfer out of the front end and wants nothing to do with it. But Deanna, who's been asking to be trained over there longer than Abby's worked there can't get over there for a couple hours. It's not fair, and not matter how often I go to my manager and complain and ask I get empty promises and maybe next weeks from him.

I just kind of let everything out last night, just everything that I was feeling about the situation and how I'm tired of being ignored and looked at like a joke and laughed at when I want something simple, and I completely broke down and cried like an idiot in front of him. I just can't take being ignored anymore, and I know he's not doing in on purpose I've seen him try and work with the CSMs to get me trained over there, he's done it so that I'm able to hear him when he talks to them so I know he's doing it. But the CSMs think it's just some kind of funny joke that I'm not in on.

This isn't just about my job, it's about everything, canceled plans every time I make them, promises that never get kept, I'm so tired of it. I'm exhausted, and I'm constantly dizzy, I don't know what's wrong with me and I just want one person who cares.

I'm sick of being laughed at. I'm sick of being a joke I don't understand. I'm sick of being ignored. I'm sick of being replaced. I'm sick of being forgotten. I'm sick of everything. I just want one person to care about me. And the harder I look for that the more impossible it seems.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Want to hear an embarrassing story?

2011-08-14T00:55:00.000-04:00

This is going to be super short because I just got home from work and honestly I really want to play the sims.

Today at work, I was in the bathroom and I ripped the front of my pants, like the entire front of my pants right next to the zipper. So I borrowed my supervisors sweatshirt and she let me go out to the clearance tent until my lunch since it’s a lot less awkward to have a giant hole in your pants when no ones around.

She was talking to me over the walkie, and my Manager decided that he should make sure I was okay because of my vertigo. So he came out to the tent, but he was not alone, he brought another manager with him. So there are two managers in the clearance tent, and I have exposed underpants (covered by a sweatshirt but still super awkward).

And that was my wonderful day today.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

today was awesome because my register didn't have any buttons. It was hilarious.

I'm a rambler

2011-08-12T22:27:00.000-04:00

I wish I could blog about real things, like stuff going on in the real world things. It's not like they don't care about them, but I I don't really form opinions about them. I mean bad things happen all the time and my friends tell me about them and they're outraged, and I'm like, "some creepy old guy asked me if I was married today."
(that actually happened today btw he asked if I was married and then started to talk to me about the price of potatoes, it was so weird.)

What I want to talk about is the cat bite on my arm and how I do not like my brother, and the how nice it is to have more than one friend. I've never really had anyone to sit in the break room with on a regular basis, it's kind of cool, but imagine this, he's leaving too.

I do not deal well with change, I'm barely used to the status quo. This next month is going to suck. I'll probably have a nervous breakdown at some point because the new manager doesn't run things like our manager does. I mean, it's going to take forever to have the "look at you and know what's wrong" type of relationship with this new person. And that's if this person even likes me, which they probably won't. Most people think I'm weird and don't really talk to me. This is why I'm excited that I have two friends. The raptor is going get so much worse when our manager leave, and everyone has been saying that they think it will go away.

And this cat bite, it's oozing puss and big and red and my dad says it's fine but he cut his thumb off once and taped it back on with duct tape, so he might be a bad person to seek medical advice from.

My brother, well, that's a whole different blog post, maybe later.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because my Store Manager said hello to me, and I started raptoring and he was laughing to hard to explain to the other store managers touring our store today what just happened.

In which Deanna complains about her job.

2011-08-11T19:18:00.000-04:00

Since I work at the same place as my mother and all my friends, I find it very difficult to rage appropriately about things, unless I'm raging, you know, at my manager. He's really good at understand that sometimes I just have to rage. So this is going to be a rage filled blog.

Firstly, yesterday, it was announced that our Manager, was promoted, and will be transferring stores, and that the front end supervisor was basically fired. So we're going to have to break in two new front end people in a matter of weeks. Most of the front end doesn't really like our manager because he's kind of a lot immature, and 24, and he somehow found himself in charge of 50 or so mostly female cashiers and service desk people and he kind of can't deal with it. And most of us aren't very nice to him. But as mentioned in previous blog posts, he's always been nice to me and tends to go out of his way to make sure I'm okay and not going to fall and kill myself. The front end has had a pretty easy time with him in control and honestly, the second he's gone I have a feeling everyone's going to start talking about how they miss him.

ANYWAY, that's not what I'm mad about. I tend to not think before I say things, and one of my friends posted that he was leaving on my facebook wall, it's not a secret by any stretch of the imagination that I think our manager is attractive, an idiot, but attractive. Less than ten seconds after my friend posted on my wall I got a message from a girl I work with asking how I knew about this already since I wasn't at work today and why I always seem to know things that happen to and about our manager before anyone else because she was getting annoyed with how close we are.

I wasn't really sure how to respond so I mostly told her there isn't anything going on and if there was I wouldn't tell her anyway. So it's kind of a good thing that he's leaving soon, so we don't have to go through that fun-ness again, because it was awkward enough the first time. I hate rumor spreaders. So what if I'm friends with him? So what if he comes over my register and asks me how my doctor's appointment went that week? I don't understand why this is important to people. I'm sorry I'm friends with someone who is the same age I am who has similar interests, oh he just happens to be my boss and he's hott. Who cares? Apparently everyone.

I'm not done raging. I have been asking to be trained on the desk since November, I'm supposed to start "Next Week" (it's in quotes because I don't know if he mean actual next week or the next schedule that comes out next week.). I was just sitting in the break room with one of the CSM's and my friend that works service desk. My friend asked me when she would be training me and I said "Next week." The CSM then flips her shit at me telling me that she didn't know that and that our manager needed to tell the CSMs that before promising me anything.

In my head I was like, whoa, back up bitch. You know I want to be over there, you're the one who suggested it. Do not yell at me because our manager didn't clear it with you first.

Outwardly I was like, *shrug*.

Some days I just really hate my job.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I convinced my friend that tomato plants are actually celery sticks.

Books read 13
Currently reading GOF

This is going to be short.

2011-08-10T16:03:00.002-04:00

I'm super dizzy, and kind of regretting not going to the trivia last night. I mean the improv was awesome as always, but that's just the thing, as always. Who knows what could have been? I took the road always traveled.

Anyway, I had to stay home from work because of dizziness but I received news that my Manager is transferring stores. I feel weird about this, and I don't really know how to explain it. I mean, it's going to take a really long time to break in a new manager the way I have broken in my current manger.

so I need to go lay down again. I will talk to you again tomorrow.

Time to hear about my doctor's appointment.

2011-08-08T22:48:00.001-04:00

London/ all of England is currently on fire, I'm worried for the people there, but I don't know enough to comment on it, so I'm not going to. I just hope people stay safe.

As I once again type while curled into a ball of dizziness. This time I kind of have a reason. I spent my morning at a forty five degree angle, head down, blindfolded, while a doctor blew air into my ears and asked me to name states. It was horrible.

Then I tired to work, and apparently my eyes rolled into the back of my head, so the service desk girl, whom I'm friends with, walked me out back, but before she did she basically yelled across the front end that she could always call the front end manager to walk me out back it I would like that better. Just when I was hoping that was over, whatever, it's kind of funny now, I just kind of wish she'd stop referring to him as my boyfriend, because it's a little awkward.

Anyway I made it through about 3 hours of my shift until I explained what happened at my doctor's appointment (and my eyes kept rolling into the back of my head) and my manager said "You should go home, I don't want you do die at Walmart." Almost got him to drive me home, but then he had to do work, or something.

I find out on next Wednesday what/if anything is wrong with me. I will of course keep you posted.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I'm one step closer to answers.

Books read: 13
Currently reading: Goblet of Fire

Deanna likes to copy people.

2011-08-07T20:56:00.000-04:00

Because I have nothing to blog about, I'm going to do the book meme that fellow BEDA-er The Antisocial librarian has been posting this week. I am, however, far too lazy to link all the books like she did, so I'm not going to do that...

I know I did not blog yesterday, I was at a cookout, then I kind of couldn't move (vertigo) I do have a doctor's appointment tomorrow which should fix this. I hope

Day 01 – Best book you read last year: 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. This book was just so wonderfully written. I connected so much to Hannah, I just really can't explain how excellent this book is. If you haven't read it, read it now, seriously.

Day 02 – A book that you’ve read more than 3 times: Catcher in the Rye. I love this book, and it was assigned reading in, literally, every literature class It took in college, as well as two of my high school classes. I think normal people would, you know, hate this book at this point, but I gladly picked it up an re-read it over and over.

Day 03 – Your favorite series: I want to say HARRY POTTER! but everyone says Harry Potter, so I'm going with my number two favorite, which is the Jessica Darling series by Megan McCafferty. LOVE

Day 04 – Favorite book of your favorite series: Charmed Thirds. It covers Jessica's college years, and when I read it the first time it was exactly where I was in life. I read this book in, like, 7 hours the first time.

Day 05 – A book that makes you happy: The Harry Potter Series. All of them

Day 06 – A book that makes you sad: I have never cried more than when reading Deathly Hallows, so Deathly Hallows

Day 07 – Most underrated book: Ever heard of Bitterroot Landing by Sheri Reynolds? It was recommended to me by my literature teacher in college, she said that she was thinking of using in in her coming of age literature class, which I had just taken. Brilliant book, there's a lot of sexual abuse and really weird shit that happens in it, but I really think it needs more people to read it, because it's wonderful.

Day 08 – Most overrated book: Unless you count the Twilight Series, I don't think there is really an actual overrated book, so I'm going to take this and name a book that is overrated by my friends. Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin, I mean, I like it, but it wasn't exactly an amazing book. It's gotten a lot of praise and several of my friends say it's, like, the best book ever, but I don't really get it.

Day 09 – A book you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving: Breakfast of Champions of Kurt Vonnegut. This book was handed to me because I was complaining about not having anything to read. I remember saying "I'll read this, but I won't like it." Then read the whole thing in like three hours because I loved it so much.

Day 10 – Favorite classic book: The Hobbit. Does that count? DOES NOW

Day 11 – A book you hated: My friend wanted me to read the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton, couldn't. I don't know if it was the subject matter or what, I mean it was written well, but I just couldn't stand it.

Day 12 – A book you used to love but don’t anymore: I love all books always. I can't really think of one that I've re-read and didn't like a second time.

Day 13 – Your favorite writer: Maureen Johnson.

Day 14 – Favorite book of your favorite writer: The Bermudez Triangle

Day 15 – Favorite male character: Neville Longbottom, also probably Owen Meany from A Prayer for Owen Meany.

Day 16 – Favorite female character: Luna Lovegood.

Day 17 – Favorite quote from your favorite book: I'm doomed to remember the boy with the wrecked voice-- not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument in my mother's death, but because he is the reason I believe in God.

Day 18 – A book that disappointed you: Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin

Day 19 – Favorite book turned into a movie: I try not to watch books made from movies because the books are ALWAYS BETTER but Chamber of Secrets.

Day 20 – Favorite romance book: I have never read a romance novel, so I'm going to be all I don't have one.

Day 21 – Favorite book from your childhood: Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I LOVED these books as a kid.

Day 22 – Favorite book you own: A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by John Irving

Day 23 – A book you wanted to read for a long time but still haven’t: So I've never read the Lord of the Ring trilogy. I mean I own it, but I haven't read it... I feel like a horrible book nerd.

Day 24 – A book that you wish more people would’ve read: Bitterroot Landing by Sheri Reynolds. READ IT NOW

Day 25 – A character who you can relate to the most: Hannah from Thirteen Reasons Why. I have never related to a character as much as her.

Day 26 – A book that changed your opinion about something: I'm going to say Harry Potter, because it's changed so much about my life that I wouldn't be the same person without reading it. It changed everything.

Day 27 – The most surprising plot twist or ending: Prisoner of Azkaban. Even knowing the ending, still surprised.

Day 28 – Favorite title: Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler, I picked it up because of the title, ended up being a pretty awesome book.

Day 29 – A book everyone hated but you liked: A Separate Peace by John Knowels. I read it in a lit class, everyone else legit hated it and nothing nice to say. I read it three times, and each time, I loved it. I don't know why my classmates didn't like it.

Day 30 – Your favorite book of all time: A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. It changed my life almost as much as Harry Potter. It saved me. This book, honestly I can't say enough about it.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome because someone told me that the best way to relieve the vertigo is to lay with my hips above my head. I am totally telling my manager this tomorrow, just to see the look on his face.

Books read: 13

currently reading: Goblet of Fire

Aidan

2011-08-05T23:39:00.001-04:00

I have mentioned Aidan several times in my blog before, but I know it's been a while, so I'm going to reintroduce him.

Aidan is a customer that I met the day after his 7th birthday. He was buying Prisoner of Azkaban with his birthday money and basically told me that he got picked on a lot at school for liking to read and I told him that I would be his friend. That is in, like, October, November, something like that. Every time he's in the store with his mom, they try to come through my line so he can tell me how far along he is in the HP series, and his mom calls me his girlfriend. It's kind of adorable.

Today he found me, and he said that he'd just finished reading Half Blood Prince. He was very angry at Professor Snape (Dumbledore was his favorite character). He hasn't started reading Deathly Hallows yet, but he's very excited to see Harry "murder Snape's face off."

I love the little moments that Aidan talks about every time I see him. I miss that, I miss not knowing and looking forward to each page turn. I'm re-reading the series now, and yeah, every time I read it it's more amazing and some how better than it was before, but it will never be like it is for Aidan now. And I'm really sad about that.

I mean, I'll never be as excited about anything as I was excited about Harry Potter. I'm just starting to come out the denial stage after the last movie. I'm just sad that somehow, nothing will ever be the same ever be the same again.

I mean I'm sure they'll be moments in my life that better than Harry, but nothing will ever do what Harry did for me. No person has ever been there for me like Harry has, and I doubt I will ever care about anyone as much as I care about those books. It's strange really to think about, but it just feels so weird to feel the end.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Because of the faces that people make when you ask them to come to work on Monday just in case you have to get your head cut open because you don't want to explain it to anyone else.

Books read: 12
Currently reading: HP POA

In which Deanna talks Sims.

2011-08-04T21:40:00.000-04:00

Know what's awesome? Sims Medieval.

I play a lot of Sims, mostly because I have few real life friends and I enjoy killing my enemies (only fictionally of course I recently threw Jake Ryan in to the pit to be eaten by the Beast that lives under my kingdom for no reason. I mean, I had a reason, but it wasn't like his Sim did anything wrong. He was a good Blacksmith). Anyway, in March, I bought the Sims Medieval, and besides that fact that my computer likes to delete my games about half way through ambitions, it's quite a lot of fun, and better than regular Sims.

Have any of you played it?

I feel like it's less addicting than regular Sims, because there's specific tasks that make it easier to stop. I like that you can play as different people of different classes and I enjoy that I can play several families at once, and that I don't have to teach toddlers how to walk or potty train them.

The reason I've decided to make a mostly pointless blog post about the Sims is because I've been playing it since I got home from work, and no matter how often I play it, I always think, this game is so much more awesome than other Sims, and I felt the need to share that.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I got to hang out with my friends in the break room today. It's always awesome to hang out with my friend.

Books read: 12
Currently reading: HP POA

Already missed a day?

2011-08-04T09:36:00.000-04:00

Yes I did, which means you'll be getting two blogs from me today. Sorry about that.

I spent most of yesterday asleep due to extreme dizziness, so there wasn't really anything to blog about, and at about 11:30 I remembered it was August and I had to blog anyway but at that point I was almost asleep, so yeah... laziness is mostly why you didn't hear from Deanna yesterday.

Chris said that he wasn't really sure what Stranger than Fiction was, and since I'll probably be talking about it a lot in August I'm going to try to explain it better.
It's like that show "Who's Line is it Anyway" only with more audience involvement, and a personal connection with the actors, which makes the show funnier. They also play different games, and do long form improv which since I don't do improv, I can't really explain, but that's the basics. I hope that helps.

And Now I Shall Steal a favorites list for Paige.

Color: Green

Book: A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving

Movie: Back to the Future

Harry Potter Book: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Harry Potter Character: Neville Longbottom

Website: Probably Tumblr

Animal: Armadillo

Class: The best classes I ever took were 11th grade English, and Creative Writing

TV Show: Doctor Who

Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate chip cookie dough

Clothing Store: I shop at Kohls a lot, but I don't really have a favorite

Food: Macaroni and cheese

Pizza Topping: Pepperoni

Musical: I haven't really ever seen a musical that wasn't written and performed by the Starkids, so I'm just going to say A Very Potter Musical...

Song Currently Stuck In Your Head: Sadly enough, Friday, but the version that Alex Carpenter and Co did, because I do not have Rebecca Black on my Ipod.

Wrock Song: Save Ginny Weasely from the Basilisk- Harry and the Potters

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome because, well yesterday was awesome because I finally got a doctor's appointment!

Books read: 12
Currently reading: Prisoner of Azkaban

The only woman in space wants a sex change to make it with a robot.

2011-08-02T23:29:00.000-04:00

Firstly, I wanted to say that I'm magical now. I am officially registered for POTTERMORE and my username is Leviosakey155, I'm a little bit more than regular excited about this.

ANYWAYS
I went to Stranger than Fiction (STF) tonight, and it was awesome. They do this long form game which is a rumble and fight to the death. This probably makes no sense if you haven't seen it, and I'm kind of horrible at explaining things, especially improv things. This rumble took place in space, and included space water, gravity boots, and a robot that only cared about military status and ranking, but somehow ended up being re-programmed to be gay, and the only woman left in space toward the end of the rumble wanted a sex changed preformed by Stephen Hawking so that the robot would love/ have sex with her.

Honestly, that's pretty much par for the course at Stranger than Fiction shows.

In health news, today was like a 6 in dizziness, but a 8 in raptor noise anxiety.

Did I tell you about the raptor? I don't think I did, I have an anxiety disorder that causes me to make a noise very similar to the raptors in the Jurassic Park movies, which has also been described as an eagle noise. It's kind of annoying, and happens pretty much all the time, especially at work and extra at STF. Today, however, it was extra bad because there was a thunder storm, and I was rather dizzy so I was freaking out about that. I have way too many health issues at the moment. *eye roll*

I have added everyone on the list to my subscriptions and I look forward to reading your blogs for the next 30 days. :) Happy BEDA everyone.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because a gravity boot is like a glass, except it's a boot.

Books read: 12
Currently reading: Prisoner of Azkaban

Hello August!

2011-08-01T21:19:00.000-04:00

Hi, fellow BEDA writers, welcome to August.

I promise to go through all the people on the BEDA list and follow their blogs, but today that's kind of too much for me. I have vertigo (it basically means I'm constantly dizzy which sucks about 300x worse than you're thinking it does) which right now is really horrible and making it very difficult to sit up, let alone type, so I apologize for the shortness of this post.

I look forward to reading the blogs of the people I met through this last year, and meeting new bloggers.

I'm going to do a quick introduction like thing, if you have any questions or just want to know anything about me, leave a comment and I will get back to you tomorrow.

Who are you?
I am Deanna, I'm 24, and I currently live in Southern New Hampshire

Why are you doing this?
Maureen Johnson told me do, and frankly, I do everything Maureen tells me to do.

Why will I be reading for the next 31 days?
I blog mostly about my life, which is boring, very boring. Unlike last year, however, I have friends now! and a job! so my life isn't quite as boring, but there is only so much I can tell you about the inter-workings of being a Walmart cashier.

My manager is an interesting person, however, so expect to hear about him a lot.

I will also probably, depending on what everyone else does, post meme's and such to keep it interesting.

Also on Tuesdays I go to an improv show, only, if you are a regular reader of the blog you'll understand this, there will be a lot less talking about Jake Ryan, because Jake Ryan is a jerkface with an apparently secret girlfriend, but on Tuesdays expect excitement about improv and on Wednesdays expect hand spams of what happened the night before.

Hogwarts House:
I am a Slytherin.

Anything else?
At the end of my blog I always have a "how many books I've read this year" and a "currently reading" as well as a "why today was awesome". I'm really far behind my goal for reading this year, mostly due to work, being sick, and my work schedule... I also end every blog post with the phrase "AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY" because I love John Irving novels.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because glaring at my Manager is just as effective, if not more, than talking to him.

Books read: *cough* 11 *cough
Currently reading: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

I helped write a novel yesterday.

2011-05-29T18:45:00.002-04:00

A NOVEL in a day. I couldn't tell you what it's about, unless you want to know the inter workings of chapter 9, I can tell you pretty much anything you need to know.

It was like mini nanowrimo, only each person was responsible for one chapter (2700 words). There were 24 people involved, 23 writers, and one illustrator all working on making something. It was amazing. I knew two of the people involved, my High School English Teacher, and one of the cast members of Stranger than Fiction. I did recognize twitter handles and faces from other things my High School English Teacher does, but that's not really important. The important part is that together in 24 hours we wrote a novel, together.

If you would like to read it, you can get the pdf file here:
http://www.johnherman.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/OVERFLY.pdf

I think you should. There were some really, really talented writers involved.

OH and also Ruth: You asked in my last blog if who I like Anna and the French Kiss and Before I Fall. I LOVED them. Legit everything I look for when reading a book, brilliant writing. I can't wait to read more by both authors.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I still feel what I can only describe as a "I did something really awesome high."

Books read 6
currently reading: Elsewhere

EDIT in response to Ruth's comment question. Which I'm kind of guessing will be everyone's question:

They was it worked was once everyone had agreed to do the project, several of the writers created a rough outline and some characters and assigned each writer a chapter with a starting point and a suggestion for the middle, the ending of the chapter was pretty much up to the writer. At midnight on the 28th, John, the project leader, started to post the outline and the characters along with pieces of the setting that were in more than one piece of the novel. No one really knew what they were going to write or what the book was about until the 28th, honestly I'm still kind of confused about the whole book, but I'm really excited to read it. We mostly communicated through twitter and some of us were in a local coffee shop where we could converse about aspects of the novel, like character traits, names of places, how old, Maggie, the main character was (weird inside joke). The best way I can describe it is an intense one day NaNoWriMo.

The notsome-ness that is my life.

2011-05-26T12:21:00.000-04:00

Well, there will be some awesome toward the end, but lets start with the notsome.

I mentioned in my last blog that I have vertigo and the hiccups. After a series of doctor appointments including an upper endoscopy yesterday we still have no idea what is wrong with me. The new doctor said that I don't have the hiccups, and doesn't know what he raptor-like hiccuping noise I make is. It's annoying, especially since I work with the public and people are not exactly nice about it. Fortuity, however, my manager is, so I haven't lost hours like I thought I would. Especially since I have to go home early sometimes because I literally can't stand up because I'm so dizzy. He's actually the only one who isn't incredibly annoyed by me at work or at home at the moment, which is strangely refreshing. I have more tests today, and next Tuesday and the Tuesday after that. I'm just really looking forward to not getting the weird looks and eye rolling whenever I'm anywhere.

Enough of that. Now The Awesome

I've been invited to be a part of a collaborative writing project with a whole bunch of people including High School English Teacher. I'm uberly excited about it. I'll try to remember to post something about it on Saturday, but since that's the day that I'll be writing, it may not happen.

This is what the project is the way I understand it. I'm in charge of writing a single chapter of a novel that will come together over the course of Saturday. People can watch the novel actually come together live on the internet. If you're interested you just check here: http://www.johnherman.org/2011/05/20/24-hour-novel-project/ on Saturday and you can watch.

There are a ton of people involved and I'm really excited to have the chance to actually has something to do with the four years I spent in college. I'm, like, so excited that I was thought of to be a part of this project I don't even think I can explain it in words. The only adjective I can think of to describe this feeling is "eiohakjghiewtheklhgihkekhiasjg."

I miss writing, with everything going on in my life at the moment, between the Abby situation and the raptor noise, I haven't had the time or energy to sit down and write. You guys have probably noticed with my lack of blogging and how few books I read this year. Hopefully this will get me back on track, hopefully, and get me out of this weird funk thing that I've been in recently.

ALSO
STF starts soon, like 3 weeks. *excitement*

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I'm closing with Q tonight! :)

Books Read: 6
Currently reading: Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin
(I've read Anna and the French Kiss and Before I Fall since my last blog)

Getting back on track.

2011-04-30T21:49:00.000-04:00

I don't know what week this actually is or how many blog weeks I've missed, but I'm sure I'll make up for it in August when I do BEDA.

SITUATION UPDATE!
So after possibly the single most awkward 3 days of my entire life, it seems that everything is pretty much back in working order. Manager and I have fallen back into the weird whatever it was, friendship thing we had before. I can be in his presence and not feel like he knows to much. He can look me in the face when he talks to me. It's all good. He's also fixed the schedule so that Abby and I don't work together as often as we used to, and that is 100% his doing. I actually ended up not asking him to do that like I was going to. But seriously, I can handle being around her as long as she's not glaring at me.

I have finally stopped receiving text messages from Abby. I mean, I blocked her number, so I don't know if she actually stopped sending them, but I stopped getting them.

The rumor however, is still going around. However from what I understand, all of upper management is aware and basically people need to stop and move on with their lives, but until something equally as fun to talk about happens I will be the topic of conversation in the break room. Oh well, at least the right people know the truth, and it's funny to the right people, which honestly at this point is all I want.

Basically it's all good. It hasn't been all good in a while.

IN OTHER NEWS
I have vertigo, and it is the opposite of fun.
It just kind of came out of no where on Sunday at work, and I haven't been able to shake this weird dizzy feeling. I also have had the hiccups since last Wednesday. At this point I'm not really sure which is worse, but the hiccups hurt and the dizziness is annoying so it's kind of a tie.

I'm really going to work on blogging weekly again. I feel bad, well more disappointed in myself than anything really. *shrug*

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today was awesome because Doctor Who.

Book Read *cough* 4 *cough*
Currently reading Anna and the French Kiss By Stephine Perkins

Update

2011-04-15T11:20:00.000-04:00

Real life convo: awkward manager edition

Me: In November you, like, accidently threw a whole bunch of signs at me and I didn’t know your name so when I told Q and Abby about it I refered to you as “the cute one.”

Manager: Wait, I threw signs at you?

---------

The conversation I talked about yesterday actually went really well and wasn't even close to as awkward as I thought it was going to be. I have a feeling the worst is yet to come but considering that was his exact reaction to me telling him I called him cute I can imagine how anything she says will be taken.

He told me not to worry about anything being said that will get him in trouble which I stressed was why I was so upset. He said he understood, but not to worry about. He told me he could tell I was upset and doesn't want me to feel like that a work.

I'm still concerned about what she's going to say when he calls her into the office to talk to her, but I really don't think he cares if I have or had a crush on him. He seemed to, like, actually care that I was so upset, which is, probably, the most manger-like thing he's ever done.

I'm glad it will be over soon. Hopefully he actually does what he said he was going to do.

AND THAT IS hopefully THE END OF THE STORY

why I've been away

2011-04-15T01:15:00.000-04:00

Because I think it's about time you should know.

I hide little of my life from the internet, especially you guys, the people who care enough about my stupid, lonely, life to read my blog and even feel the need to comment on it occasionally, which makes me feel better about my sad, lonely, pathetic life. There is a reason I confide so much in the internet, to people I barely know, because I don't make friends in real life easily and when I do, I have either a very hard time keeping them because they don't actually like me, or I let them walk all over me until I'm broken and basically nothing of me is me anymore.

Right now I have a really good friend, like the best friend I've ever had,Q. She's not trying to change me, she gets me, and she actually likes me. It's kind of a miracle, really. At the same time, I have or rather had, a friend who is very similar to the best friend I had in high school, the one that would take everything I wanted, everything I had and ruin it for me. This new girl, I'll call her Abby, because I say so, is literally making my life impossible to live.

I guess I must start at the beginning, since that's the logical place to start. I don't recall if I talked about this in my blog before or not, but in November or December, a guy I work with a lot now but didn't work with at all then, throw a whole bunch of signs at me while I was standing at my locker. Why? Because, well, he's an idiot, and adorable idiot, but still. I did not know this gentleman's name, so when I went and told my two friends, Q and Abby, about this event, I called him "the cute one." Notice how I said "the cute one," and not "Guy I wish to sleep with," or "guy I now have an undying love for." Just "the cute one."

Q, because she's, you know, normal, knew about whom I was speaking and almost sort of agreed that he was sort of attractive. Abby believed that I had a huge obnoxious crush on this guy, which in all honesty, I did for a short time. However, I did come to my senses and realize that I will only ever love Jake Ryan. I mean, I have I love Jake Ryan socks, you can't really get more hard core.

FAST FORWARD TO A MONTH AGO.
Idiot sign thrower guy now writes my schedule, and is the front end manager also known as my manager. I should also mention although it has no relevance to the story, that I have 3 months older than him. He's still adorable btw, and I will not lie, I greatly enjoy staring at him, because he is pretty. I DO NOT however, want him. There is something else, I talk to him. I can actually form words and have conversations with him, which if you've known me for more than 10 minutes you know that the fact that I am able to form coherent sentences and look at his face while I talk to him means I'm not in love with him.

I'm pretty sure at this point you're reading this thinking, Deanna, you've pointed out about 800 times that you don't love this guy, clearly meaning you do. NO. I'm getting there. I just want to make it clear that I don't love him.

Because it's kind of funny, I just kind of go with things that people say sometimes, and the "Deanna has a crush on our manger" thing was just ridiculous enough to be funny so I just went with it. Honestly it only got annoying when Abby told me that she had a hard time looking at him because of the things I've said about him, which in it's entirety includes: that one time I said he was cute, and one time I jokingly said I was distracted by his presence because I said a lady's total wrong while he was standing next to me. Does he come up in regular conversation? Yeah he does, a lot. You're just going to kind of believe me when I say that if you worked with this kid, you'd talk about him a lot too. If the amount people talk about him equals love, then I know a bunch of sixty year old ladies who are head over heels for a twenty-four year old guy.

Quick side story that is completely related to this story and it will make sense in a few paragraphs I promise:

I spend a ridiculous amount of time at Wal Mart. I live in the same town I work in. The Wal Mart was built when I was junior in high school. It's kind of the local hang out. If you walk around this Wal Mart, I could point to at least 15 people I either graduated with or were the year above or below me in high school in that store at any given point. And it's not just my class, it's something that still goes on with recent high school kids. there is nothing else to do in our town but hang out at Wal Mart. If I didn't work there, I would be spending as much time there as I do now when I'm not on the clock.

Anyway, Abby.
The fourth time I received the "I have a very hard time looking him in the face because you have such a ridiculous huge crush on him" text message, I told her to go suck a dick and leave me alone, only not as nicely.

You see, Abby is OBSESSED and I have proof of this, with a guy. And this obsession started around the same time I had signs thrown at me, and since these two events happened about the same time, clearly the level of love and obsession are equal, at least that's what I think she thinks. I can't know how she thinks but it's the only thing that makes her actions make sense. She's like crazy creeping borderline stalking this guy. I was really just sick of her attitude and her negative-ness and everything and I just can't be friends with someone like that anymore, I just can't.

So I cut off contact with her. So in return, she glares at me and acts like she's 12 and talks about me behind my back. Which I hear about because there is a wonderful cashier at work who likes to tell you what people say about you. I kind of love her.

SUNDAY
I get a text asking me if I'm still mad at Abby. I say "No I just have no desire to ever talk to you again." So she gets all annoyed and tells me that she was only ever a good friend to me and how she can't be responsible if I get upset when she tells me the truth about my actions. I basically tell her to go fuck off, and she tells me that management approached her and asked her why I spend so much time in the store.

WAL MART RULE:
A member of management is not allowed to talk to an hourly employee other than that employees supervisor about another employee.
I can't even get a member of management to tell me if my mother is in the store, and everyone knows we're related.

So what she said was a bold faced lie.

She then continued to tell me that instead of telling them "the truth" she just said she didn't know.

WHAT SHE THINKS THE TRUTH IS:
I desperatly want to get into our manger's pants.

ACTUAL TRUTH:
I have nothing else to do.

WHAT I DID SUNDAY NIGHT:
Spent half the afternoon in the break room talk to two different managers, my mother, and Q. And also trying to convince my manger that I didn't hear him when he said hi to me, and I was not mad at or ignoring him, because he's 8. Reason number two that what Abby says happened didn't happen, because frankly if any manger wanted to ask me why the hell I was in the store on my day off they would have asked me while I was eating food with them in the break room.

I am telling you this because I completely terrified that Abby is going to start saying something about our manager and me, you know, as a collective unit. Because Abby believes that I spend so much time in the store to be close to him, to talk to him, to flirt with him, which is 110% not true. I spend so much time in that store because I get bored staying in my house all the time and that's where my friends are. I have went to the store with the sole purpose of talking to him twice, possibly three times and each time was because he messed up my schedule or I had to talk to him about something else work related. I do not seek him out. If he happens to be around when I'm there, yeah, we talk, we're the same age, we have things in common, he's a nice guy, but I'm not in love with him.

I'm really worried that she's not going to get the attention she's looking for from telling everyone that I like him, which honestly everyone thinks that already because I stare at him, and she's going to make more of it than there is and he's going to get in trouble, he could lose his job because of a rumor like that. And I don't want it to be my fault.

What does this have to do with my complete absence from the internet lately? Well, this girl has made me so stressed out over the last month that I can barely eat, I've just been waiting for shit to hit the fan and I wasn't sure how I was going to get in front of it and stop it.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my manager. He HAS to know at least part of what's going on because when I told him I had to talk to him yesterday he kind of ran away from me, and when I stopped him when he was leaving, he kind of rolled his eyes hand leaned on one of the soda machines like he knew what was coming and didn't want to get involved. It's going to be a fun awkward half hour. I can only imagine. But something has to be done about this. I don't care if it means I end up losing hours so that Abby and I don't work the same shifts, I just need to get away from her, and I need her to leave me alone.

AND this is why I've been absent from Tumblr, and my collab youtube channel, and twitter, and here. This situation, which hopefully will be over tomorrow, so I can go back to normal.

AND THAT IS almost THE END OF THE STORY

Oh, hi...

2011-04-04T18:42:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I didn't forget about you. I've been reading everyone's blogs, I've just been too lazy to write my own.
I just have nothing to write about. I feel like I can only tell the internet so much about how many hours I work at walmart and how I savior Tuesdays because most weeks it's my only day off.

I could tell you about how adorably, awkwardly, annoying my boss is, but that's not exciting.

I don't know, I'm in a weird non-writing funk at the moment. I'm finding it hard to get into reading too. I've been through these kinds of funks before, but last time I was a sophomore in high school, and it wasn't a good time for me. This time I don't think it's anything like that, I'm not sad or anything I'm just, I don't know, stressed out I guess. I mean there's a lot of stuff going on with my RL friends and their personal lives, that I can't talk about on here because it's their personal business and not for me to post about on here. I guess it's just getting to me.

I feel like I can tell you guys, my invisible internet friend everything, if I feel myself slipping, I blog about it, I promise. I did that last time, and you guys really helped me out. I don't know, I just feel really weird lately.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today was awesome because, thank goodness, it's finally my Friday.

Books read: 3
Currently reading: Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

I'm pretty sure I missed a week, possibly two.

2011-03-15T15:18:00.000-04:00

But that doesn't mean you've missed anything! (Meaning my life if boring and boring and lame).

I hang out at walmart a lot. Now I did this before I worked there, but I do it a lot more now. I mean all my friends are there, and our Manager thinks it's funny to schedule us on opposite shifts because we asked to close together, so now I open and she closes. So I just chill at walmart until she goes to lunch so we can talk. I mean it's not like we don't get work done when we're together, there's just a lot more giggling when we are.

I'm also fairly convinced he secretly hates me. It's not my fault he gets super embarrassed when people say "condoms," and now I feel the need to say it all the time when he's near me because it's funny.

OH! Speaking of condoms, and walmart, I had a woman who was, like, 30ish, come through my line on Saturday. At first her whole order was batteries, totally normal happens all the the time, people by 9 billion packs of batteries. THEN it got weird. She ended up buying $290 worth of batteries and condoms. Try not to start giggling during a transaction like that, I dare you. It's really hard. My Supervisor told me I should get an award for not laughing, my Manager however, turned bright red and walked away.

That's basically my life right there. BUT this weekend I'm going to be doing some funny Harry Potter/awesome friend stuff. So that blog will at least be semi interesting. Until then though,

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because all Tuesdays are awesome

Books read: 3
Currently reading: Finished The Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy 20 minutes go, so I don't know if I want to read something else or just into Restaurant at the end of the Universe.

Let's talk about Glee, because it's Thursday and I'm still mad

2011-02-24T16:30:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I know there is A LOT going on in the world right now, crazy horrible things, but I'm going to talk about Glee, not because I don't care about everything else in the world, but because I'm in the same room as my mom, who is re-watching this week's episode, and I'm in a rage.

I know it's just a stupid television show, but honestly they had a real chance to make a difference about something that is a huge problem in the United States, and probably other places, and they didn't, if anything, they probably added to the problem. Am I saying the Glee could have single handedly stopped teenage/ underage drinking? No. What I'm saying is they gave some high school freshman who sees Rachel Berry as a role model the excuse they've been looking for to try it.

It's not like the writers of the show don't know who their demographic is. Sure, people my age love this show, but so does my 15 year old cousin and her friends who have glee watching parties on Tuesday night after they do their homework. More than half the people I follow of tumblr are under 21, and if you've ever had the misfortune of being on Tumblr during Glee, you'd think nothing else has ever happened in the world other than that show. The writers of this show did not need to glorify underage drinking like it was.

There needed to be consequences. During Blame in on the Alcohol, there is no way that a teacher would have looked at that group of kids and not noticed that there was something wrong with them. Mr. Schue spends an obnoxious amount of time with those kids, it doesn't take a genius to realize they were under the influence. After Tik Tok, when half the fucking Glee club vomited on stage, the Principal shouldn't have rewarded them. If he was stupid enough not to realize they were drinking, Schue should have said something. That's what my teachers would have done, that's what a responsible adult would have done.

Another thing that REALLY bothered me about this episode is how Mr. Schue's drinking was taken the same way as the glee club drinking was. Mr. Schue is what, 30ish? the glee club members may be in their mid twenties in real life, but on that show, they are 16/17 years old. They should not be telling him that because he does it, they should be allowed to. The first thing about out Mr. Schue's mouth when Quinn said that should have been: "You're a teenager, I'm an adult. when you turn 21 you can make the choice for yourself."

The only thing about this episode that I thought was responsible was Mr. Schue handing out his number to those kids. He's a least a (mostly) responsible person that the kids can trust.

Glee had a social obligation to it's viewers, and if they treated teen drinking, which kills people every day, the same way they treated bullying, it could have been a wonderful episode, and they could have used the same songs, instead they made it a joke, which really just pissed me off.

Watching that episode, I couldn't help but think of memorable teen drinking episodes of the shows of my childhood. The one I really remembered, was Boy Meets World. In that teen drinking episode, Cory and Shawn are arrested, while the experience hits home with Cory, it doesn't really with Shawn. In the Matthew's kitchen there is moment almost exactly like the moment in the Choir room when Cory says to his dad something along the lines of "You drink, why shouldn't I." Mr. Matthews says "Because I'm an adult and you're not." Like Mr. Schue should have, because that's what someone you look up to as a role model should say at that point in time.

Throughout the rest of that episode (which I believes takes place over a week or so) Shawn continues to drink. He does worse in school. Mr. Feeny and Mr. Matthews step in with no real changes being made. Jack yells at him and finally Shawn hits his girlfriend Angela. I was, like 9 or 10, the first time I saw that episode. I've seen it a whole bunch of times since, and honestly it's one of those moments when I know television changed something in me.

That moment is repeated over and over again for the last three seasons of that show. Every time Shawn drinks, or Cory drinks or Eric or Jack or anyone, the point of the show when Shawn hit Angela is brought up. It's re enforced in the kids watching the show, whether they were in high school or college, or like me, 13 watching that show, that there will be consequences for your actions.

I love Glee, a horrible plotless show, yes, but i still love it. I just really wish this episode played out a lot differently.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

today is awesome: because it's LAUNDRY DAY!

Book read: 2!!

Currently reading: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

BOW 11 week 7

2011-02-19T21:14:00.000-05:00

Someday I'll have a life worth blogging about, until then, I'll continue living my fantasy life in the Sims.

I've been sick this past week, not every exciting at all, but I almost vomited on my manager during an important meeting which was the only reason I was at work that day. What else... Was Monday Valentines' day? Yeah, nothing happened for that either. I live a sad and pointless life, honestly.

I spend most of my time reading and watching Dexter. I'm almost done with The Once and Future King, I have like 100 pages left. I'm really enjoying it, I don't know why it's talking me so long to read it.

-insert mildly entertaining story- I was reading on my break at the service desk whilst my manager was on the phone, or who knows what he was doing, anyways, there was this super funny part in the book, then, like, someone was horribly murdered, then more funny, and I made this like, cry/laughing/really awkward noise. I guess that he was the only one that heard it, because I looked up and he was just looking at me with this strangely confused look on his face and asked if I was going to make it. - end of almost entertaining story-

One month from today I will be in a hotel room with Thursday getting ready of the Yule Ball! ~~I still have to take a picture of my prom dress.~~ That week I'll have plenty to blog about. :D, but until then...

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
I think I'll post a story next week? Is that alright with everyone? Doing it anyway, but figured I'd ask.

Today is awesome because I have fuzzy pajama pants and Ben and Jerry's

Books read:1
Currently still reading: the once and future king

I'm going to the TwiWizard Tournament. Bow #6

2011-02-12T23:55:00.002-05:00

I'm going and I'm going with my friend Megan, who is part of a youtube collab with me. I'm so excited. I tried on my prom dress and somehow it still fits me (I have 18 pictures of Teddy Roosevelt saves on my computer, but zero of my Prom dress, it was 6 years ago, but still, maybe later though.).

I'm so excited. I bought my ticket yesterday. I told my seven year old boyfriend, Aidan (the boy who bought Harry Potter at the store a while ago, his mom calls me his girlfriend, so I just go with it.) He seemed more excited that I did, which is pretty remarkable, considering. He told me I have a ton of pictures to show him when I get back, of course I will, Aidan, of course I will.

What else is happening in my life...

I finally started editing my novel. I'm really glad that I took time off and stepped away from it for a while, but I'm pretty sure I'm the worst writer ever to exist. I asked Maureen Johnson about this, and she says that it's normal, but seriously, it's, like, horrible. This manuscript needs A LOT of work.

I'm really working hard on doing, you know, blog worthy stuff, but it never seems to happen that way, sorry I'm so freaking boring :/

AND THAT THIS THE END OF THE STORY

today is awesome because it was a Deanna and Q closing night. I love working with Q.

books read 1.

I'm still reading The Once and Future King, but I'm really almost done this time. I promise.

bow 11 #5 Again with the suck

2011-02-05T21:12:00.000-05:00

I'm going to tell you about yesterday, please tell me if I was wrong. I mean, I can see wrong-ness on both sides, but seriously tell me if I'm just being a complete asshole.

I really wanted to be positive this week, but I can't, not after the week I've had. As I mentioned before, I'm working the worst shift of all time, next to the most negative person of all time who is 100% obsessed with this guy we were working with to the point where I kind of wanted to slap her. It's no big secret that I love Jake Ryan, but I've become conscious of how much I talk about him now that I've hung out with her. Now I've become worried that I'm going to bother people by talking about him, and this makes me very sad.

Basically this girl is constantly negative. Every little thing can be spun and made negative by her, and if it's not negative, it's turned to make sound like this guy is just as obsessed with her as she is with him. My best girl friend (because my best friend is John Michael, and nothing ever in the world will change this) we're going to call her Q found out this guy had a girlfriend and told the other girl, so Negative Nancy decided that Q was actually trying to steal him from her, because that makes any sense at all, and because this is our freshman year of high school.

Without getting too far into it, yesterday morning sucked worse than any day ever, and it didn't help having Negative Nancy and her negativity and constant making everything the guy said about her near me, and I freaked out. So I walked away. I just couldn't take it anymore. I walked away, which is the mature, adult thing to do, rather than freak out and yell at them and get fired.

Ten minutes later, it's lunch TEN MINUTES. I don't know about you guys, but two weeks of build up leading to a massive explosion has never cooled off in ten minutes, and you can't exactly rush these things. She ended up crying, which makes me feel bad, because that was not my intention, the girl is my friend, and I didn't want to make her cry, I wanted to cool down and not punch her.

She went and made a HUGE DEAL about something that wasn't a big deal and on break went on the sales floor crying, which got me in trouble, and called into the assistant managers office.

(Side assistant manager note: I am almost a year older than my assistant manager, and although he is in an "authority figure" I have a very hard time taking what he says seriously, mostly because all the other assistant managers then contradict him, and he asked me to stay until midnight on Wednesday when I work from 5 am to 2 pm, and he once asked me how to do a credit card transaction, and he throws things at me. And I'm older than him.)

I was called to the Principal of Walmart because I didn't punch someone.

The person in the office ended up not being the assistant manager, but the head of the front end, so it was less awkward to explain what was going on, but I honestly think it would have been kind of funny to explain girl drama to him, because he gets embarrassed easily, because he's a 23 year old guy.

Thankfully, she understood, and sort of sided with me and understood that it got blow WAY out of proportion and really wasn't something worth crying or getting management involved. I basically explained through out mediator, since we're 11 and needed one, that I just needed some space so I didn't kill her. She understood this, but for some reason getting called into the assistant managers' office to be scolded at work for something so stupid, kind of pissed me off.

IT GETS STUPIDER

I went for drinks with Q and a friend that I work with now but I went to high school with, so I've known her forever (I'm going to come up with a list of blog code names, and post them later this week so I don't have to keep calling everyone "person I know" or "my friend." Negative Nancy and the guy were there, along with some other person. I didn't see them, but I had no intention of sitting with them anyway. I was still angry about getting scolded and just needed to get away from her. You can't be around someone for 2 weeks straight without everything that bothers you about them to just make you want to explode. I just... just need some space. Was it a little bit childish to not sit with them? Yes. Was it childish to involve Q? Yes. (Q was already pretty involved, since Negative Nancy accused her of trying to steal the guy and tell me that she kind of wished Q wouldn't get involved in her love life, even though she asked her to.) Did NN need to text all of us repeatedly asking us why we weren't sitting with her and asking if we were all still friends like we're in middle school? No. That part only added to my growing ball of annoyance.

I'm not saying we'll never be friends, honestly, I really like her, I like having her as my friend, but if she's going to act like we're 12 and get people involved that don't need to be involved. I just need some time off from our friendship right now. I can't be around her all the time, it will drive me insane.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because It was a drama and walmart free day!

Book read in 2011: 1
Currently reading: The Once and Future King.
I should finish it this week, I love this book, it's just talking forever and a day to read it.

Bow 11 #4 This week, basically, sucked.

2011-01-29T16:18:00.000-05:00

I was supposed to be doing overnights (10p to 7a), remolding the store, but at 9 Monday morning I got a phone call saying "why aren't you here, you we're supposed to be here at 5." I was like "No, I'm overnights, and I went to bed at 6, so there is no way I'm coming in."

So since Tuesday, I've been getting up 3:30 to get to work for 5. We've been redoing pets, TWICE, and other random tasks. I won't get to into it much more because I'll get angry, but basically, it sucks worse than anything I've ever done, and I still got a week left. I am exhausted and greatly looking forward to another week of this crap.

In uncrappy-ness; there was an STF show last night!!!!! I brought two of my work friends. They seemed to like it, hopefully they'll go again in the summer. :) It's hard to explain how much I missed Stranger than Fiction, but I really did. I can't wait for June for weekly shows again.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I'm still on that STF high, it's hard to explain unless you've been to a show, but I love them so much.

Books read in 2011: 1...
currently reading: The Once a Future King. (if I was working overnights, It would be done by now.)

week 3: I'm going to do a challenge.

2011-01-17T20:12:00.000-05:00

Because I have an uninteresting life. But first, I want to thank everyone who left comments on my last blog post. See that you guys, my friends that I've never met feel the same way, it just... just, you know makes me feel better about feeling the way I feel. So thanks. :)

So Whimsy set a challenge of sorts in her blog this week, which was "who are your top 5 (or however many you want to say) fictional characters. As I read the blog I was like "I can do this," however, it was WAY harder than I thought it would be.

TOP 5 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS IN DEANNA'S LIFE

1. OWEN MEANY (A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by John Irving): If you haven't read this book, seriously, give it a try, I'm not saying you'll like it, but it's really worth a read. I first met OWEN when I was 17, a junior in High School. He was a paper back novel that I figured I would look up on spark notes before the test, but I actually read this book, every page, and that little guy changed my life forever. OWEN MEANY is speaks in a way the whole world can hear. For a girl that didn't have a voice, OWEN ~~was~~ is the reason I have one now. OWEN MEANY changed my life. No other character, or real life person wait, I take that back, there is one real life person who has done more for my life than OWEN, but nothing means more to me than that character in that book. I can't imagine being who I am without him.

2. Topanga Lawrence (Boy Meets World) I'm not what one would call "normal" I'm not as odd as Topanga (Seasons 1-3 Topanga she got kind of normal toward the end there.) by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm not normal. Being 7 or 8 years old and seeing a girl like her on television allowed me to just be who I was without caring. The show may have ended 10 years ago, but characters like Topanga are relevant, important even today. I honestly wish I could point to another television character and say "That girl, she's going to show girls that it's okay to be who they are, just like Topanga did."

3. Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter) Dumbledore is flawed yes, but he is always the greatest wizard of our time. He's that first real father figure in Harry's life, the first person he really trusts. Dumbledore is witty and perfect and exactly the kind of wizard an 11 year old girl needs in her life.

4. I know I'm new to the fandom but really The Doctor (Doctor Who) I have never, ever felt like this about a fictional character. It's hard not to love The Doctor, for me, more in a Donna way than a Rose way. Who doesn't dream of getting away, traveling the world, time, space.

5. Marty McFly (Back to the Future) Shortly before Harry Potter was a huge part of my life, 11 year old me LOVED Marty McFly. I still love Marty McFly, I was Marty McFly for Halloween. He's my ultimate time traveling hero. Back to the Future was the first really "nerdy" thing I was into, no one else in my class had even see it at the time. This movie has been a weird life long obsession of mine, and Marty has EVERYTHING to do with it.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I spent a decent amount of the day in a blanket fort

Books read 1
Currently reading: The Once and Future King T.H. White.

BOW 11 #2 The internet has made me a nerd*

2011-01-10T17:55:00.000-05:00

*No it hasn't, but it greatly helped in the process of me accepting the fact that I was never going to be a "cool person." Not that I ever wanted to be a cool person, well, I did, but I knew there was a very slim chance of this happening, and now I'm rambling. I'm rambling in a blog post.

ANYWAY

I have recently come to the realization that I would not be who I am without the internet. The internet has enhanced my nerd-ness, without this marvelous creation I, honestly have no idea who I would be. Since I'm an old person, at least, you know, compared to most of the people that read this, at 24, I didn't have internet in my house until 7th grade, LATE 7th grade, but honestly, I wasn't a big internet person until I was in college, like my junior year of college.

Now, I started reading Harry Potter when I was 11/12 ish. 1998 or 1999, I loved the books, lived by them, but I became a full fledged Harry Potter is the most important thing to have ever happened in the history of ever person until I got into the fandom on the internet, like a year and a half ago about the time I watched AVPM for the first time. It was with that play that I realized there were people like me. Actual living breathing people like me who loved Harry Potter like I loved Harry Potter, and there wasn't anything wrong with that. I believed them to me a myth, these people like me. My friends all thought I was a freak, that I took the books too seriously, no one understood. Until I saw Darren Criss sitting on that suitcase at the beginning of AVPM, I figured I would never find "my people" (you know what I mean by that, you guys basically).

But the Harry Potter Fandom was just what opened the door.

If you've been following this blog for a while, or happen to be following me on Twitter, you know that I recently "discovered" Doctor Who (I was told to watch this show when I was in high school, but never did. It was not until my internet friends pushed me that why that I did). This show, OMG this show. I would not have ever thought to watch it, without the internet, now, I feel like I have no idea what my life was without it. That fandom is fairly intertwined with the Harry Potter fandom, at least, in my experience, with my group of friends. It's been fun to be a part of something, like it with people. People I may not know, people who can't sit in the same room as me and watch it, but still, they're watching it with me, from wherever they are.

It is through this internet, mainly Tumblr, Tumblr has A LOT to do with how much of freak I am, really (I say "freak" I mean "awesome"). I got netflix because of Tumblr, mostly to watch Doctor Who, and SKINS (SKINS! OMG why isn't American TV a faction as awesome as British Television?) and because I have the subscription I might as well watch, well, everything. So now I'm watching Merlin, and tomorrow I'm going to buy the Arthur legend book, because I get confused easily (and everything I know about the Arthur legend is from the Disney Movie "The Sword and the Stone," and Disney movies aren't exactly known for their accuracy in story telling.). It's so interesting!

I used to think myself as a relatively "normal" person with a slightly "unhealthy" obessession with a children's book, but slowly, recently I've discovered who I'm supposed to be. I kind of wish I had gotten into the internet sooner, like when my friends did. That I had been into youtube earlier, started watching the vlogbrother sooner, learned who I was sooner.

But hey, isn't that what you're early twenties are for? Finding yourself?

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I have the awesomest friends in the world, IRL and in this box I type things into.

Books read: 1
Just finished reading: Dirty Little Secrets by C.J. Omololu
3 out of 5 Stars

Because Maggie Asked

2011-01-03T21:51:00.000-05:00

Maggie said...

I think you can manage it. What have you considered in terms of jobs? What type of thing do you want to be doing? (Besides writing novels, of course. I already know you like doing that. XD)

I get asked this a lot, like, everyday, mostly in the form of "You have an English degree? Why aren't you teaching?" The only time it wasn't phrased that way was when I was asked by my High School English teacher, because if I ever became a teacher, he'd be the first person to die of shock, I'm legitimately that socially awkward and afraid of people. So I'm going to answer it, in blog form.

In the summer of 2009, I worked as an intern for the safety department of a big company, my basic job was to re-write the safety procedures and other such things, and I was pretty much the personal assistant of the head of the safety department. It was awesome.

I would LOVE to do something along those lines again. Writing, being in an office, not standing at a cash register all day, having a normal 9-5 or 7-3 or whatever. I even enjoyed being the assistant. It was new, different, I actually looked forward to going to work. I would live to work for that company again, seriously, if I got that chance I would jump on it.

At this point, honestly, I'd settle for an office like job where I wasn't required to wear blue all day everyday.

I hope that made sense. Ideally, in 10 years I see myself being a sane version of Maureen Johnson.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY.

Oh, also I've decided to jump on the BOW 11 train, so you can expect more unquality, rambling, obnoxious blog posts for THIS GUY!

Today is awesome because my room is unbelievably organized right now.

Books read -1. currently still reading The Book Thief.

My resolutions.

2010-12-31T12:33:00.001-05:00

As, here anyway, it's 12 hours until 2011, I felt I should post to the internet what my hopes and dreams are for the upcoming year. 2010 wasn't exactly anything special, or really even that good. I mean, I met some really awesome people, but I really didn't do anything fantastic or even a little bit interesting. I want to do something. I want to accomplish something. So here is my list.

Lose weight. I've hated the way I look for a long time. I just have to start doing something about it. I mean, no one can love me until I love myself right? I better start taking the steps to be there. I'm tired of complaining but not doing anything about it.

Get a real job. I mean, one that has anything to do with the degree I spent four years of my life working for. Don't get my wrong, I love the people I work with at WalMart, I almost like my job, but I've been cashiering my whole working life making shit for money. I want a real job, I need a real job.

Move Out! The apartment with my work friend, isn't going to work unless I have a real job. I can't afford to eat, drive to work, and pay rent on what I make now. I can't have one without the other, and I do not want to be 25 and still living with my parents. I need to get out of here.

Write more. I want to have my novel edited by March, but I doubt that's going to happen, so I'm giving myself the deadline of June 1. I want the second draft to be written and happy by the end of 2011. I want to have something to show for my time spent doing nothing on the computer.

This includes blogging more. The people that read and respond to this blog and the blogs I read, the people I met this August, I consider you guys amongst my closest friends, seriously. I just want to hang out with you more.

Do something about this Jake Ryan situation, *eye roll* because that hasn't been on my to do list since 2004.

Go to Wisconsin to see Deathly Hallows with Casey. Sounds silly, but I really just want to see Harry Potter with someone who loves it as much as I do. I would like it to be the midnight premiere, but I have to work around the schedule of an Improv troupe. You don't understand, Stranger Than Fiction is more important than anything.

During this Epic trip to Wisconsin if I drive: Stop and meet/ hang out with Thursday and Friday of Nerds^5.

Do everything I can to meet Tuesday. I mean, she lives the furthest away, and not anywhere along to road that leads to Wisconsin. I will meet her. I will.

Complete the 50 book challenge. I should have done it this year. I really should have.

Be happy. Be productive. Be a better person.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome because, if everything goes right, I'll be watching Disney movies with my friends come midnight. If it doesn't, I'll be watching Disney movies by myself at midnight. Either way: DISNEY MOVIES.

Books read: 39

Currently reading: The Book Thief (gotta finish this by midnight!)

Book Blog part 3

2010-12-28T18:17:00.000-05:00

Part 3 of my book blog. I hope I can get someone to pick up one of these books. ALSO if you have any recommendations for next years challenge, send them my way. I LOVE reading books that other people love.

A Prayer of Owen Meany – John Irving

I’ve read this book 6 times now. It changed my life once, and I keep reading it to remind me of what Owen Meany means to me, what Owen Meany did for me. When I’m feeling lost or sad I re-read Owen Meany. I literally carry a copy with me everywhere. This book means more to me that I can explain. It’s kind of religious by kind of I mean a lot, and the opening chapter is the most boring chapter you will ever read in your life (it’s a lot of historical information and stuff like that mixed in with the story) but if you can get though that, read this book.

If I Stay – Gayle Forman

After I read this book I stopped reading for a week or so because I didn’t think that anything could be better than this book. It deals with death and what if you could make the choice to stay here living even though you’ve lost everything or die and be with the ones you love. It’s heart breaking, and really keeps you guessing as to what the narrator will decide until the last page.

Twenty Boy Summer – Sarah Ockler

I knew after reading the back of this book that it wasn’t going to be one of those silly romance teen books like it sounds. It was really heart wrenching at points. One review on the back cover says “It tears you heart out then sews you back up again.” I think it’s missing the “And then rips it out again and stomps on it for a minute before giving you the healing moment. It is a love story, but also a death story and friendship story.

Skinny – Ibi Kaslik

I wasn’t as pleased with this book as I wanted to be. I’ve read several books dealing with eating disorders in the past and this one didn’t really live up the others. I’ve wanted to read it for a while and I really wanted it to be, like, the most amazing book ever. Maybe I just set my sights to high, but I wasn’t really thrilled with this book.

The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins

The Hunger Games Trilogy is excellent. If you haven’t read it, read it. It’s not about who Katniss loves but about what Katniss does, it’s great to see a young adult fiction series that deals with everything the Hunger Games deals with , wonderfully written. Highly HIGHLY recommend.

The Book Thief –Markus Zusak

I'm still reading this, but unless Mr. Zusak's head exploded two thirds of the way through this book, it will be one of my favorites of all time

Book Blog part 2

2010-12-28T17:44:00.000-05:00

Part Two of my "Books I read this year" collection.

13 Reasons Why – Jay Asher

Being someone who has been where the main character was, obviously I didn’t kill myself like she did, but you know, this book spoke so much to me. I don’t think I stopped crying the whole time I read this book. It was wonderful, skillfully written, excellent, excellent story telling. Jay Asher captured those moments, those hard horrible moments so wonderfully. If you’ve ever been depressed or suicidal, or know someone who has, read this book. Honestly this book is the best one I read all year. I can’t say enough about it. Read it.

Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac - Gabrielle Zevin

I read this one because my roommate read it and said “You’re a writer, something is wrong with this book. What is it?” I think it was a rushed story, it could have been more developed and the ending was weird. The story, oh the story is wonderful, but there could have been a lot more done with it. I think.

Good in Bed - Jennifer Weiner

I picked this one up because I ran out of books to read, and I picked a good one. It’s not about what you’d think by the title. It’s about an overweight lady and who I believe just turned or is about to turn 30 and she broke up with the guy she thought she was going to marry then finds out she’s pregnant, but there is so much more, that the basics really. It’s deep and emotional. If you’re looking for a grown up book to read, I recommend this one. I don’t read much “regular adult fiction” but if they were all like this book, I would read more of it.

PS I Love You - Cecelia Ahern

If you’ve seen the movie, but not read the book, you are MISSING OUT. After reading the book, the movie sucked, like, sucked, and I know a lot of people who love that movie. I’m also one of those books are better people anyway, so yeah. The book is so much awesomer though, it more in depth and you cry more, and it’s really great. I like books that make me cry, what I can say. I’m not a big romance reader, but this love story, genius, A+

Will Grayson, Will Grayson – John Green and David Levithan

John Green, David Levithan, Will Grayson. will grayson. Let’s just say I appreciate the hell out of Tiny Cooper. Nuff said.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling

This was the 2nd time I’d read the series all the way through. The first time was right after DH came out. I wanted to re-read them before the last movies. I could talk forever about Harry Potter and how much it’s changed my life. I believe that everyone who reads any place I post this blog post has read it, but if you haven’t there’s something wrong with you. It’s not just a children’s book. It’s the story that defines our generation. I am a proud member of the Harry Potter Generation.

Along for the Ride – Sarah Dessen

Not my favorite Dessen book, but excellent, per usual. I love her books, I think she’s wonderful her characters, everything. This one deals with step families and love mostly. I’ve mentioned before I’m not really into the whole “Romance” genre but her books are just so well written and well developed that the “romance” side of them isn’t the most important. This book is worth reading if you like her work or that non-angsty Young Adult style.

Dreamland

I know a friend in a similar situation to the main character in this book. I want more than anything to save her, this book, oh this book, shows domestic violence at its worst and tells the reader that there is really nothing we, as outsiders, can do but let it run its course. The psychology and imagery in this book; just read it.

Just Listen

Sarah Dessen does something amazing when she writes. She can take subjects like rape and eating disorders and make them the main focus of a book without focusing soley on that one subject. She’s a brilliant writer. I hope to someday write a book a quarter as good as this one.

Keeping the Moon

This is a good fun book, not one of my favorites, but still just the way Sarah Dessen writes is magical. This book deals with outcasts and “weird people” and what friendship really is.

That Summer

I felt there was something missing from this book, like it could have been longer and more too it, like of like it was rushed, but not really. This was Sarah Dessen’s first novel, and it kind of shows in a way. It’s still really good, but there’s something missing for me

Someone Like You

Teen pregnancy, death, friendship, a really, really well written book. I wish I had more to say, because it was such a lovely book, but honestly, just read it.

Lock and Key

This was the first book I read by Sarah Dessen, it deals with abandonment, family, changing schools, friendship, love, abuse. Sarah Dessen is, just… just… brilliant.

This Lullaby

The science of the break up, the falling for the guy you never wanted to. I think this is the most “romantic” of the Sarah Dessen books, personally, and I really just loved it.

The Truth about Forever

This is my favorite Sarah Dessen Novel. I can’t really put my finger on why, but if you only read on Sarah Dessen book, I recommend this one the most.

Book Blog part 1

2010-12-28T15:29:00.002-05:00

This post is broken into 3 parts because it's 7 MS word pages long. I am posting the next one in a few hours. These posts are the "reviews" of the books I've read this year. I'm kind of horrible at reviewing, but I hope it gets you a little incite into the books, hopefully enough to pick them up if you haven't already.

Extras – Scott Westerfeld

I read the rest of these books at the end of 2009, and I loved them. Honestly, I think this one fell a little bit short of the other ones, but I still liked it. It was nice to see what happened the Tally after the end of Specials, but I kind of wish it was left as a Trilogy.

Sloppy Firsts Second Helpings Charmed Thirds Fourth Comings Perfect Fifths - Megan McCafferty

This SERIES! The Jessica Darling Series by Megan McCafferty is BRILLIANT! I loved it. I actually drove in a blizzard to Bangor Maine to by the third book I needed to know what happened. I heard of these books through Hayley G Hoover of Youtube/fiveawesomegirls fame. From where I’m sitting, we have fairly similar tastes in books and movies and whatnot, so I figured I’d give it a whirl. They’re more adult than most books I read, but the same themes run through them, romance, friendship, school, college, losing friends, all that fun stuff. I HIGHLY recommend these books.

So Yesterday- Scott Westerfeld

This one was different for me. I really enjoy Scott Westerfeld’s writing, this book was one of my favorites by him. It’s a bit of a mystery, and kind of a short book, so a very quick read. It’s one of those books that makes you think about life a little differently after you read it. I like that in a book

Liar- Justine Larbalestier

I had high expectations for this book and it feel a little short of them. It’s a good book don’t get me wrong, I just wasn’t into the story. It’s about a murder, and a wolf, and a liar. It gets confusing sometimes, and I think if I was more my taste in books than the book itself that kind of turned me off to it.

Night in Twister River – John Irving

I LOVE John Irving novels, I LOVE THEM. This one is no exception. I think it takes a special kind of reader to like John Irving books, so if you’re read and like Hotel New Hampshire or The World According to Garp then there is a better chance that you’ll like this one than if you don’t. It’s not really for a first time Irving reader I don’t think, because of what the story is actually about when you sit down and think about it afterward. It’s thicker, not just page wise but intensity wise, it took me over two weeks to read it, which considering how quickly I normally read is a turtles pace. It’s deep, but really, really good. I love John Irving. I could write page after page about how much I love John Irving, and this book reminded me of why I love his writing so much.

Scarlett Fever- Maureen Johnson

Maureen Johnson is another one of those authors that I don’t think can ever write anything I don’t like. This is the second in the Suite Scarlett series, and personally I liked it better than the first one, more Spencer, I think is the reason of that (I named my cat after Spencer Martin. I love Spencer Martin.). You need to read the first one for this to make sense, but seriously, go rent or buy or borrow all of Maureen’s books right now, and read them. SERIOUSLY.

The 50 book challenge!

2010-12-26T12:50:00.000-05:00

If you read this blog, you may have noticed that at the end of each post I keep a tally number of books I've read this year (in making this blog post I discovered the number was wrong, but that's not important). The point of that counting, was to complete the 50 BOOK CHALLENGE! this year, obviously, I feel 11 books sort, but I did read some amazing books this year.

I have written a blog, which is currently 7 MS word pages long talking about these books. So I'm going to post it over the next few days.

This is the list of books that I read this year: (bold means re-read)

1.      Extras – Scott Westerfeld
2.      Sloppy Firsts- Megan McCafferty
3.      Second Helpings
4.      Charmed Thirds
5.      Fourth Comings
6.      Perfect Fifths
7.      So Yesterday- Scott Westerfeld
8.      Liar- Justine Larbalestier
9.      Night in Twister River – John Irving.
10. Scarlett Fever- Maureen Johnson
11. 13 Reasons Why – Jay Asher
12. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac - Gabrielle Zevin
13. Good in Bed - Jennifer Weiner
14. PS I Love You - Cecelia Ahern
15. Will Grayson, Will Grayson – John Green and David Levithan
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone- JK Rowling
17. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
18. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
19. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
20. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
21. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
22. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
23. Along for the Ride – Sarah Dessen
24. Dreamland
25. Just Listen
26. Keeping the Moon
27. That Summer
28. Someone Like You
29. Lock and Key
30. This Lullaby
31. The Truth about Forever
32. A Prayer of Owen Meany – John Irving
33. If I Stay – Gayle Forman
34. Twenty Boy Summer – Sarah Ockler
35. Skinny – Ibi Kaslik
36. The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
37. Catching Fire
38. Mockingjay
39. The Book Thief –Markus Zusak

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because it's my best friend's birthday.

On a whim

2010-12-09T02:19:00.000-05:00

Tonight, two of my work friends and I decided to get an apartment together.

I feel that this will probably be one of the best decisions I've made in a while. I'm so excited about it. I need to come up with nicknames for them, especially if we'll be living together, but yeah. I'm beyond excited about the possibly of living with these two girls, you have no idea.

We haven't known each other long enough for us to be three best friends living together, but we know each other well enough to know that we're slowing going to drive each other insane, but we know we'll be able to handle it. We all work similar ridiculous hours, at the same store, and we're all fairly similar, so we believe it will be wonderful and happy fun time.

I really hope it is. I really hope we actually do this. That we actually can get a moderately priced apartment and live there in harmony and happiness for a couple years or whatever.

I will totz keep you all updated, but I just wanted to finger spasm my excitement. We're going out for drinks to talk about where we want to live and prices and stuff. :D :D

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

I got called a Satanist today!

2010-11-22T20:07:00.001-05:00

I just kind of have to write this down because it's so ridiculous.

Back Story!
I wear a Slytherin scarf, it was expensive. I work in a place where things left in the break room sometimes get "lost" and I happen to work with the vindictive bitch whom I use to call the George to my Fred, so scarf is never out of my eyesight, ever.

So I have it on the back of my register whilst I work. Normally no one ever says anything, and if they do they say something like "Is that a Harry Potter Scarf?" "Oh where did you get?" or "Why aren't you a Gryffindor?"

TODAY a wonderful woman, who had three children with her, one about seventeen-ish one around nine or ten and one about three or four (in my guessing of ages) said to me: "Oh what is that symbol on your scarf?"
and I replied: "It's the symbol of the House of Slytherin in Hogwarts from Harry Potter."

The woman's face went from mildly pleasant to RAGE in seconds. She then proceeded to yell at me. She said: "I can not believe they allow you to have such a thing at your register. You are blatantly condoning Witchcraft and Sorcery and subliminally teaching my children about Satanism and devil worship. I can't believe the store would let someone like you do such a thing to unsuspecting costumers."

I, calmly as I could considering I had just been called a satanist in front of a store full of people, said: "Have you even read the Harry Potter books ma'am."

To which she replied, still steaming, in a full Walmart in the middle of the afternoon. "I don't need to read Satan's guide to Witchcraft to know what it's about, and I do not like you showing it off to my children!"

I then handed this lovely woman her slip and said "Have a great day ma'am." And she glared at me.

The man behind her almost wet himself trying not to laugh until she watched away.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY.

I cannot believe I haven't talked of this before.

2010-11-19T19:41:00.001-05:00

Before I start about what this is actually supposed to be written about, I just want to say that I saw Harry Potter last night and it totally blew me away. I can't get over how amazing those actors are, how well that movie was done, everything about it I loved. I mean, there were a few things I would have had added like where that weird piece of mirror that Harry keeps looking at came from, but all it all well done, best so far I think. So many tears were shed. I can't wait for part 2. Only 237 days!!

Anyway, a big part of why I went to school to see the movie is a. I wanted to see it with my friend Noelles, and 2. I hadn't seen my best friend in six months. SIX MONTHS.

I know I spend a lot of time on here complaining that I'm friendless and alone, but honestly, my friends just live so far away that I feel alone. I mean, I don't really have anyone to listen to me, besides you guys the people who live in my computer and felt the desire to read about my boring life; but I have the Harry Potter to my Ron Weasley, the Cory Matthews to my Shawn Hunter, the Sam to my Frodo.

I know that somewhere I've talked about this kid, this weird, lovable, amazing kid that came into my life my junior year of college and once told me that he couldn't wait until we because "Adult friends." There aren't really words to describe our friendship, but I was once appointed the person who kept him from talking about Pokemon during Environmental Club meetings, and trust me, this was the single most important role in the club.

How I spent the last six months, the sadness, loneliness, I point at not having him around, not being able to walk over and knock on his door and have him look at my face and tell me everything was going to be okay and hug me until I felt better. He could always make me feel better.

I could spend my life talking about how amazing he is, and how last night whilst we all sat in his living room and talked about Harry Potter and he didn't remember a fairly important character's death, he remembered on line said about how Snape could fly and argued that that character didn't die but Snape could fly for quite a while, then googled it and decided that Snape is part vampire.
ARTICLE HERE: http://www.beyondhogwarts.com/harry-potter/articles/sinking-our-teeth-into-the-character-of-snape.html

I mostly wanted to say that I really don't talk about my best friend enough, and I should. Everyone should have a friend in their life who is 100% convinced that they will servive when they kick a bear in the balls simply by throwing a fish in the opposite direction.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because Neville Longbottom, secondary love of my life, is a BAD ASS with his 5 words in the whole movie, Rupert Grint should just win awards, and Tom Felton, TOM FELTON!!!

Dedicated to the comment Maggie left earlier

2010-11-16T19:24:00.000-05:00

I'm not giving up writing. I still editing my other story, and the NaNo I wrote last year was un-salvageable, there was nothing there I could use to make a sensible story. The year before I got about 10k in before I quit. Writing is something I can do, NaNo isn't, it just isn't.

I've just kind of excepted that,

2010-11-16T12:53:00.000-05:00

That I'm not going to win NaNo this year. I barely have 13k and I'm really not feeling my story. I spend hours staring at the blank word document, and I just can't move it forward. I've gone back and changed the whole thing twice already, and I just can't get it to where I can get more than 10k without getting stuck.

I know it's not about the story its about writing, but I just can't make this story work. I keep telling all my friends that are going it not to give up and just keep writing but with my stupid schedule and my lack of any creative motivation, I'm never going to reach the end. Last year I was living with a person that was competing with me. Here all I have is my parents yelling at me because I don't spend enough time downstairs and spend too much time on the computer. I can't win. Either in life or in NaNoWriMo.

So this is Deanna quiting NaNoWriMo this year, and probably forever, it was fun last year, this year it's just work and I don't need more work on my plate right now.

Hi.

2010-11-02T02:21:00.000-04:00

*walks in slowly* *waves* *smiles awkwardly*
I know, it seems as if I've been avoiding you, or leaving you alone for far too long. I'm sorry, but it's November now, and you know what that means? You guessed it I'll be writing blogs instead of my NaNoWriMo novel! Because I'm really bad at not procrastinating.

I'm just over 2100 right now, which isn't too bad for day one. I have to keep on top of this and write extra on Tuesdays if I want to get stuff done, but I'm so easily distracted.

I could stare at that for like, ~~two hours~~ five minutes.

Did I tell you I've started watching Doctor Who? I think most of the people that read this blog follow me on twitter, or know me in real life, so they know, but I feel like sharing anyway. I freaking LOVE this show. I have no idea why I didn't start watching it before, I mean I was told about it when I was in high school, I should have started watching then. ~~I'm still watching that gif btw as I'm typing.~~

What has happened in my life since I last blogged. It was my birthday on Wednesday, I'm know the unimportant age of 24, I went to a concert, OH OH OH I MADE A FRIEND!!!! We go out on Thursdays! I have STANDING PLANS. You don't even know. *does I have a friend dance* And she's a nerd, and she loves Harry Potter, AND she watches Doctor Who, although she hasn't seen the any other Doctor but Matt Smith, and I'm not sure if I like him yet, but it's only been three episodes. I'm pretty sure I hate Amy though. We have plans to watch Buffy together, and and and possibly Dexter. I love having nerdy friends. My old friend, she wouldn't have done things like that with me.

I should show you my Halloween Costumes.

Marty McFly

Random Slytherin person Or Ginny Weasley if you're a person who came to the Epping Wal-Mart.

I still need my Harry Potter tickets.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY.
Today is awesome because I found that gif. OMG.

Books Read 37.
I know I suck, still reading the Book Thief.

I just met Kristina Horner.

2010-10-09T21:39:00.001-04:00

Like four hours ago, seriously.

Photo graphic evidence:

I went to the Triple Rainbow show in Boston which was at the awesomely convent time of 3 in the afternoon. I met a new person, and now we are twitter friends :) It was exciting.

ANYWAY the show WAS AWESOME. My camera died right before ALL CAPS came on but, you know, that's my life. I did record some Jason Munday, Mike Lombardo and Alex Carpenter and most of Snape vs. Snape I think so we do get some Luke and Kristina. I haven't uploaded it to the computer yet, just one Jason Munday song which will be posted HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnHijCyToJk NOTE: when you click on this the girl sitting next to me FLIPPED OUT and is SCREAMING, so adjust the volume on your computer accordingly or you won't have ear drums. JS.

I'll be posting more when I have time, which means Tuesday.

FAVORITE quotes: Mike: At the merch table we even have Jason Munday light up swords.

Everyone else on the tour: LIGHT SABERS!!!!!!!!

Man: So you guys know the band?

People waiting for the concert: We like to think we do.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

today is awesome... hmm... let me think... today is awesome because I met one of the people that got me to write why today is awesome at the end of my blogs. ~~AND Luke is far too attractive seriously~~

Books Read: 38

Currently reading: The Book Theif

What Deanna did today.

2010-09-29T18:36:00.000-04:00

If I'm not pressured to blog, I tend not to, so sorry I've been neglecting you.

Today I did something really cool, but it needs a back story. Last Thanksgiving, my Dad joined what he calls a Biker gang. It's not a gang its the American Legion Military Veterans Motorcycle club. Because they are veterans organization, they are told about things that non-veterans don't know about, like when the planes are landing in the old Air Force base near my house. These planes contain men and women either going to or coming home from the wars in the Middle East.

I mentioned in my last post that a man (I guess, weird) that I went to school with, that I've known since I was seven recently came home, and that I have one friend (well, the husband of my mom's best friend's daughter) is currently in basic in Alaska, he'll be going over in April.

Today I got to see a group of men off to their deployment. The old Air Force base in Southern New Hampshire is a refueling stop for many flights heading overseas so we, the greeters have the change to say "Thank You and good luck" to the people leaving, and "Welcome Home" to those coming back.

The base here and one in Bangor ME are the only ones that welcome soldiers home, and say good bye to them. I personally, I think that's wrong. Shouldn't every airport these people who are fighting for us have someone say "Hey welcome home" no matter where they are? This isn't 1968.

Anyway, It was weird, emotional, really emotional. Shaking their hands and saying thank you for what they'll be doing for us. I guess because it's everything I never got to say to the kid from my class before he left, or when I saw him in the store.

I hope I get to do it again.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

This post may make me sound insane.

2010-09-17T18:55:00.000-04:00

But how many of my posts make me look not insane? Answer: zero.

Note: this blog may contain Harry Potter Spoilers, so if you don't want to be Spoiled, don't read on.

I was reading the other day, most like on Wikipedia, or some other such credible source, that wizard children aren't required to go to muggle school previous to attending Hogwarts. I've always kind of wondered about this. Mostly because of how Mr. Weasley acts and how pure blooded wizards seem so out of the loop when it comes to muggle things.

Because I'm Deanna, I was thinking about this, and about how my future children with Fred Weasley (*cough* I'm not insane *cough*) or, you know other wizard children, would be raised.

In reading Harry Potter, and mostly seeing Mr. Weasley, I think it may be important for children of wizarding families to have some kind of muggle education. It's up to grade 5 or 6 I believe. I think that it would be good for wizard children to know the basics of the muggle world. I mean, there isn't much purely wizarding world left, really. Well that we know of in 1998. Only certain towns (right?) so most likely wizard children are going to grow up around muggles. Wouldn't it be a good idea to let wizard children and muggle children learn the basics together, then went school starts to get harder and more specialized then you send your kid to Hogwarts, or whatever.

I love Mr. Weasley, but I don't want my children to be like him, you know, all fascinated with the muggle world because they never got to live in it or explore it.

Wow, I'm completely insane.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because sometime next week there is going to be a SKYPE PARTY!!

Books read 38
Last Finished- MockingJay.
If you haven't read it READ IT

I work in retail. just murder me with a spoon.

2010-09-15T23:28:00.000-04:00

Unlike every other blog post I've ever written, this one is going to be filled with angst and hatred toward things. (please read the previous statement in the most sarcastic tone you can.)

As the title suggests, or you know, I work in retail, at a fun little place called Wal-Mart. I've worked at several other retail stores in my day, Barnes an Noble, Kohls, K-Mart, a small grocery chain, and basically this has made me hate people.

Wal-Mart has given me new people to hate.

Living in this part of the Shire, I've never really been fond of the students at a particular prestigious high school near by; mostly because they like to run in front of on coming traffic and think the world owes them because they're smart. I've yet to meet a person, that isn't fictional, who attended that school who isn't a totally fucking fuck.

Its like they've never been in a store before. I had one girl today that literally filled all my bags and had stuff on top of the turn-y thing, AND a poster leaning up against my register, AND a fucking pole. There were people behind her in line. AND SHE JUST STOOD THERE TALKING TO PEOPLE.

I said "Excuse me, but can you please take some of your bags so I can ring in my next order. I don't have any room."

And she said "Hold on a sec, I'm busy." then continued to talk to her friend, then turned around and said "Oh are you waiting for me *giggle*" and then I stabbed her 47 times in the face.

That last part may not be true, because I would have been fired.

ALSO a lady told me that I "don't look like the kind of person that passes up pie."
Thanks for calling me fat old woman, thanks.

I hate my job. I hate it SO hard.

But my shirt should be here soon and I get paid tomorrow so I can buy new shoes.

But, I did see a guy from my class who was over seas, whom I didn't know was home. It was from a distance, but it was nice to know he was home, and gets to be with his wife and daughters. I don't think he was home for the birth of either of his children. We need to bring one more home and then I can start watching the news again.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I know Chris is home, and really, that's be best thing I've heard in a long time.

books read 37
currently reading: Mockingjay.

HEY!!

2010-09-06T21:34:00.002-04:00

Hi!!

Did you miss me? Probably not, but I missed you guys. :)

Since I've "gone" I found some new blogging friends on tumblr, but, SERIOUSLY, not as awesome as you guys. I love you guys.

What have I done this last week? Oh yeah, I worked. OH and got PAID. *weird high pitched voice* MONEY. I have on the way to me a nice green StarKid t-shirt.

I am also going to the Triple Rainbow show in Boston Oct 9th. Uberly excited.

I also have a friend! I think I talked about here toward the end of BEDA but I have a real life friend. Someone who I didn't go to school with who can't make fun of me for being weird because she doesn't even KNOW about the weird yet. Poor her... We're going out tomorrow night. I'm excited. I haven't gone out to a bar, umm, ever? Yeah ever. I'm 23 btwz.

Quick story: Spent my 21st birthday, which was a Saturday, in Salem MA standing next to the memorial for Giles Corey, telling people about him. *cough* uber lame English nerd *cough* Giles Corey is my HERO. If anyone deserves HERO WORSHIP, it's Giles Corey.

In other things, my High School English Teacher has a play coming out in two weeks. More on this later when I actually know more about it. All I really know is that there are robots. He keeps tweeting about Robots.

I think this is where we part of the evening. I'm far too tired for 9:30 at night.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I own a purple dress.

books read: 37

I don't want to see you go

2010-08-31T18:46:00.001-04:00

But it's not forever, not forever, and even if it was, you know that I would never let it get me down, cuz your a part of me that makes me better where ever I go. So I will try, not to cry, No one needs to say goodbye. - Days of Summer Team StarKid

I'm really sad that BEDA is over, that this is the last BEDA post of the year. I've said to before, and I have no problem repeating myself when it comes to this, I've really enjoyed reading and commenting and getting to know all of you. It made me feel like I was really a part of something. I haven't felt like I was a part of something in a long time. So thank you, everyone that read my angst filled annoying blog for the past month. Thanks for commenting and listening.

I don't really think I can explain how much it means to know that no matter how ridiculous a post I write, someone will read and comment on it. I'm in that weird part of my life, as I've said before, where I just feel so alone and lost sometimes. To know that someone is there to listen, no matter how stupid that thing I have to say is, really, really means a lot. Thank you guys, I can't really put into words how much I just want to hug all of you.

This is my facebook page if you want to be my friend on there: http://www.facebook.com/Decoolz

I think, I'm probably wrong, but I can think whatever I want, that doing this, being here with you guys has made me a better blogger. I don't feel stupid posting some random thing about how all I did all day was sit around and eat ice cream feeling sorry for myself. I've learned that I have to get out and do something so I can report on it, and honestly, if BEDA didn't turn out to be as awesome as it did, I wouldn't have that mindset. Finding and having adventures saying "Yeah sure I'd love to" when someone asks me to hang out, is something that you guys gave me back. I can't explain how much that means. Thanks for helping me get my life back.

In this month, I've gotten a job and accepted friendship, two of the things that I've been hoping and praying for for almost a year. I love you guys. I really do. Thank you so much for being there.

I'm excited to continue to read your lives and see our next big adventure (NaNoWriMo? Epic Skype party?) But mostly I wish you all well, and I hope that you got a much out of this as I did.

ALSO: In yesterday's post, I said my Skype name was "Decoolz" it's actually "Decoolz27" I'm sure there are hundreds of other Decoolz on Skype, but you know, I should probably tell you that I don't know what I own name is.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I've finished packing for Hogwarts!

Books read 37

I am a follower

2010-08-30T18:58:00.000-04:00

Everyone else is doing this, so I'm going to as well. I'm really going to miss this everyday blogging. I've had a lot of fun with it. I've enjoyed everyone's blogs and "meeting" new people who I can relate to. You guys have been really awesome, really. Thanks for being interested in my boring angst filled annoying life. I'm kind of sad that tomorrow is the last day. :(

So now some Triva!

Name: Deanna
Age: 23 *cough*old person *cough*

Location: New Hampshire or The Shire if you're awesome, which I am, so The Shire

School: Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry. (also known as I have graduated from college and now I never have to go to school again.)

Major: I was an English communications major, which is why I currently live with my parents and work at Walmart

Job: Cashier at Walmart, because I DREAM BIG
Current Book: Skinny by Ibi Kaslisk but Thursday MockingJay!

Instrument: my Instrument is MS word or a Pencil

Single: FOREVER ALONE

Hungry: No

Clean: pretty much, I mean I spent the day at WalMart, so I'm covered in Walmart germs, but I showered today

Sick: No, but now I will be that I said I wasn't
Bored: always
Going to miss BEDA: VERY MUCH

Skype Name: decoolz

NaNoWriMo Account: decoolz (also my twitter name, and my tumblr name and my actual name... because I'm creative)

Should everyone add you?: SURE!

Will the Skype party be epic: I feel that it would be. We're pretty awesome, us BEDA-ers

Are you happier now: Yes! Yes I am

Will you type out a thoughtful blog more often: I will write twice a week after Tuesday. I promise
Even AFTER August: I promise

I love You!: Aww. I love you too, BEDA, Lord Voldemort, Neville, cookie dough Ice Cream, and Jake Ryan! *cough* and Michael J. Fox *cough*

I'm really going to miss this. I really am. *cries*

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I recently made plans to sit in my friend Kevin's train car on the way to Hogwarts on Wednesday.

Mentioned the books already in this entry, so yea.

Let's do this

2010-08-29T22:00:00.003-04:00

I had a plan for this blog, but then I read Kristina's blog today, and I want to copy her. So I'm going to.

BUT FIRST!
I was working today, and this woman and her daughter (aged 5 or 6ish) came through my line, the girl was being kind of whiny and childlike, not overly annoying, but annoying enough. The girl was asking to hold things and stuff and I could tell that the mom was getting really annoyed. This behavior had been going on for most of the store, I guess. The mom was trying to punch in her PIN and the girl started to pull on the ladies coat, and saying "Mommy, I want to press the buttons!" The mother looked down at the little girl and said "Oh My God, Hermione, shut up." The little girl crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

I almost wet myself and bit the inside of my mouth until it started to bleed, to keep myself from laughing.

The most important part of that story is that there are 5 and 6 year old children in the world named Hermione; and although she may not be named after the character in Harry Potter, I'm just going to assume she is. I hope one day that girl grows up to be the cleverest witch of her age. ~~And that woman, most likely un-knowingly, since she was, like 35, gets to make AVPM references all day, everyday.~~

Back to copying Kristina Horner:
She wrote about her life 10 years ago. In December, everyone on twitter was talking about what they were like in the year 2000 I sent couple tweets that looked a lot like this: #10yearsago I was 13, had a huge crush on that Lab Tech on CSI, Greg, Fave Song was Pin Ball Wizard by The Who, I had a freakishly large Zac Hanson poster and my favorite movie was Back To The Future, and I couldn't WAIT for Order of the Phoenix
I then sent out a tweet that went something like this: As apposed to know, were Greg is no longer in the Lab, but a real CSI, my Hanson poster contains all three brothers and all the Harry Potter books have been released. #ImthesamepersonIwaswhenIwas13.

I remember reading the tweets of the people I get to my phone, as we weren't cool enough to have Internet in the apartment. A lot of people were saying things like "Ten years ago I was deciding if I wanted to be in television or become a teacher." (became a teacher, if you were wondering) or "ten years ago I was a cheerleader, now I want to kill all cheerleaders"

I bring this up, because looking back at my life, my interests haven't changed very much. However, I don't think that 13 year old Deanna would like 23 year old Deanna, I also think 13 year old Deanna would call me a nerd and probably kick me, because 13 year old Deanna was a bitch, she was also a nerd, but intolerant of other nerds, because she was the BEST nerd EVER.

I've always been a nerd, and I wore my nerd with pride, unashamed that I was weirder than anyone that had ever existed. (I've decided that this is a fact.) My post it note days were only a year away, but I did carry around little boxes for key chains that played music (Oh the nineties) I had a B*Witched one and a SClub 7 one is I remember correctly. I also got them taken away a lot, because they would go off at random times. I carried unnecessary things and had a posters of both Michael J Fox and Zac Hanson in my locker.

I was not yet friends with the girl that would lead to my belief that being weird and strange was a bad thing, so I was just out there being me and not caring about it. I kind of miss that kid. My backward baseball cap days. I have a picture of 13 year old me, I'm at a formal, so no hat but here:

I'm the one with the glasses, the other girl is Queen Elizabeth I (inside jokes)

I look exactly the same, well i got new glasses, and I have braces in that picture, but I look exactly the same.

In her blog Kristina talked about how different she was as a young teen, and we're for the purposes of this blog, the same age (I'm a year older than her IRL). I just can't help looking at myself and seeing an nearly identical person. Everyone around me figured I'd grow out of the "Harry Potter thing" I always figured my weird obsession with MJF would eventually fade, but there is now "growing out of Harry Potter" and from where I sit, I can see hanging in my closet this outfit:

without MJF in it, obvs.

Thinking about how we're supposed to "grow up" and change and evolve as people, and seeing that I still love the same things just as passionately, if not MORE passionately than I did when I was 13 makes me wonder if I something is wrong with me. Or maybe there is just something so great about the things I loved when I was a kid, that I never should let go of it.

I don't know, what do you guys think?

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome because, well, mostly because the inside of my face still hurts from that child being told to shut up.

Books Read 36

Currently have 4 chapters left of Skinny by Ibi Kalisk (I'm usually a much faster reader.)

I should be asleep

2010-08-28T23:59:00.000-04:00

Actually I was asleep, but I woke up in a weird panic when my tv shut off, because I put it on sleep, and such things happen, and I was like, "Oh Crap BEDA." #truestory.

I don't really have much to talk about. My job isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I'm probably going to have to figure out how to use the "action codes" and not just yell when I need people. "I'm sorry it's my second day actually working" isn't going to be an excuse anyone takes after, well, today.

I need to edit some serious video for both my high school English Teacher (not weird, wait, yes, it is weird.) and for a secret awesome thing that I'm doing for Tomorrow. One of these videos I know how to make, the other one, NO IDEA. (that one is of course the one I have to make for my teacher.) I should say that I don't have to make it, he just asked me to, and thinks I'm smarter than I really am.

Anyway, I have a blog of actual substance planed for after work tomorrow.

Until then
AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because, um, because I discovered Wal Mart sells MockingJay for a cheaper price than B&N.

Book status unchanged since yesterday

Is it too early

2010-08-26T22:42:00.000-04:00

To hate my job? Yes? okay, well then.

Today, what's the word, umm, oh, sucked. Idk if you guys have ever done Computer Based Learning Modules, but they are, how can I put this, they should go shoot themselves in the face and then die in a hole. ARG. So boring, and so long. At least I was with two other girls that felt the same way, and I will be with them tomorrow, only this time it won't be for 4 hours but for 7. I can't wait...

Our manager, today was his last day. So we have no idea who we report to, or what we're supposed to be doing after we finish the CBLs tomorrow. Oh, because there's more. But at least we know never to pick up human organs off the floor, and that it's against company policy to walk through hazardous waste spills.

WTfuck.

We are so ill informed about our actually jobs it's kind of sad, but whatever, I feel that the two girls I "worked" or to be more accurate got paid $10 an hour to laugh at a computer screen with will end up being tight. It will be like having work friends! And they're my age too, in the same boat as me, college graduates looking for something to pay off those loans. So that cool. I don't feel like the weird creepy old person.

I'm going to stop complaining about my job that I've had for two days now.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because NEW SHIRTS!: http://www.annarbortshirtcompany.com/teamstarkid

(ps. when I was leaving for work my Dad said to me: Just remember you work to do the things you want to do, like buy those Star Ranger team jerseys. So close, so close. He tries. My dad only recently discovered that Harry Potter's first name was Harry.)

books read 36
currently reading: skinny by Ibi Kaslisk

Right now

2010-08-24T23:33:00.000-04:00

I'm legit just eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's and being sad. Basically nothing went as planned,and it rained and ruined my hair.

I hugged everyone in the cast except the one I wanted to. And now, I'm just, I just.

I can't blog under these conditions. Sorry guys.

I have nothing to write about.

2010-08-23T19:57:00.000-04:00

As the title of this blog suggests, I have nothing to write about. Today I watched Boy Meets World, did a little editing, and well, that's it really.

I'm still waiting on Jen to help me with this shirt thing. I mean, it's seriously important, like the single most important thing ever. I need to wear the correct shirt tomorrow. Normally, I just wear completely ridiculous shit, like my bright yellow "The Who" t-shirt a jean shirt and neon green tights. Last week I wore my Dumbledore Army T-shirt and Orange tights. I've basically become odd t-shirt brightly colored tights girl, it's like my thing now, I guess. I just feel like tomorrow needs to be an excellent decision in Deanna outfit life.

WAIT!

When did this become what I blog about? How did this happen? Why is this even a thing I think about? Omigod have I become that girl? I don't want to be that girl! HELP ME!

OK. I really need to stop obsessing, but if it's ever going to happen, it has to be tomorrow. The goal is to ask to be "Real life friends" and hope he doesn't stare at me like I'm an idiot and walk way. Because if that happens I might just die, or if he laughs at me, I think that would be worse. I'd have to go curl up in my sock drawer and cry for days if that happened, preferably with a giant Hersey's bar. I'm, like, eleven, seriously.

I'm just going to stop now.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I bought computer paper, seems lame, but it involved leaving my room, and then getting computer paper, which I needed so I can edit.

Books Read: 36
Currently reading: Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

It's Sunday of Harry Potter Weekend

2010-08-22T18:50:00.000-04:00

I spent yesterday not moving and watching Harry Potter Movies on ABC Family, and making fun of them on Tumblr. Today, I'm doing basically the same thing, only I can, like, sit up and not feel like I'm going to vomit.

Later I'm going to be trying to figure out what I'm going to wear on Tuesday, because Tuesday may be the most important Tuesday of my life. And by important I mean, it's the last Tuesday of the summer and I have to talk to Jake Ryan or I will NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN, until next summer.

When did I become that girl? Oh yeah, when I was 17 and started loving him... I am pathetic. :(

I have nothing else of importance to share with you, so I will leave you with this:

I leave you with this. Spencer and Loakie BFFLS

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because my tumblr dash is covered with "Hermione is not an OWL"

Books read 36: currently reading Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

I do not want to move.

2010-08-21T19:52:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had so much fun with my friend. I haven't had a girl chat with the girl in the same room in like, YEARS, because I am lame, but still I was so cool to just sit and giggle and eat candy/pizza/Chinese food/funions/more candy/bugles/cool ranch doritios and watch 3.5 hours of Youtube videos... and giggle snort as she gasped and laughed and couldn't unsee the amazing that is StarKid.

My life outside my room is the same as my life inside my room.

I don't really have much to say, mostly because I don't want to look at this BRIGHT computer screen, and i really want to go back to sleep. SO I'm going to show you some of the awesome things on my desk.

Time Turner, for traveling back in time to Kill Harry Potter in his first year at Hogwarts.

I got this at the Harry Potter Exhibit when it came to Boston. Every time I show people they want to know

I have no idea what this is, or where it came from, but it's bee on my desk for years.

I got to kill him at Improv last week. Wellington is a Member of STF. I'm kind of excited to have this.

STICKER BOOK. HARRY POTTER STICKER BOOK

I do not know what compelled me to write this on my Post-It notes, but I did, and now you all know about it.

I can't believe there are only 11 days left of BEDA. I'm going to miss it. I think we've created a nice little blogging community. I hope we can keep being "Blogging buddies" when it's over.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome because Harry Potter weekend on ABC Family

Books read 36
Currently reading: Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

Since it was asked, I might as well answer it.

2010-08-20T11:58:00.000-04:00

In the comments of yesterday's post, RuthEDay asked a question that I sort of answered in the comments, but I feel that I should address it farther so I'm going to. Basically she asked if the ankle breaking lead to the sucky down turn in my life.

Kind of.

Not that my life was exactly rainbow and clouds and square dancing, previous to my sophomore year of high school, but losing volleyball pretty much cemented my place in the "why the fuck do I even exist" world. I wasn't, like, super good, or anything, but I was good enough, that with practice I could have played in college, and gone to a state school like I wanted. I'd played volleyball from sixth grade until my sophomore year, well I was on the team junior year, but the ankle situation lasted about 10 months longer than it should have, (long story, don't ask) so I didn't get to play that season.

I lost friends, who probably we're really my friends looking back at it, but it was high school, and frankly if you talked to me, FRIEND. Remember John Green's video where he talks about college, and making friends, that person, the one basically crying so that you'd be your friend, that was me in high school/ up until, like, maybe, two weeks ago when I realized I actually had some really good friends who weren't assholes.

Because I didn't have volleyball, I fell into this HOLE OF SAD. My grades tanked and found myself drowning with no way out. I know a lot of people have been there, have felt that, have made their lives better, turned around and clawed toward the light, but there are days, still, when I feel like that sad kid stuck in that bottomless hole knowing that I'm never going to get out of it. I was one of the lucky ones, though. I was that one in a million kid that had a teacher like Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World, that one that cares so much about you that they stop you in the hallway to say "see you tomorrow," even when they know they have a teacher's conference in Boston and aren't going to be there the next day. I'm lucky enough to still have that person in my life now, and that I can call this person my friend, even if I can't call him by his first name because it's too weird (I graduated high school 5 years ago, it will always be weird to call teachers by their first names. His first name is Mr. and it will be that way for the rest of my life).

I know that there is a way out of the hole, a way to fix it, but I get so lost in the fact that I've found myself there again, that it spirals out of control again. I feel that if I could go to that moment and run on the outside of the group instead of the inside, and therefore not fall off the sidewalk-less road of my town and break my ankle I'd be better. This is why I re-read A Prayer for Owen Meany this year, so that I could grasp at that piece of seventeen year old me, and hope that somehow twenty-three year old me would get it.

I feel that even changing that small piece of life, I would still be pretty much the same person I am now. I mean there's no doubt in my mind that I would end up a nerdfighter. I've always been a nerdfighter, I'd still be the weird girl that thought it was socially acceptable to wear post it notes as a fashion accessory on my jean jacket (Note to self, this is probably why you had no friends in high school), and I'd still have an unacceptable for someone of my age crush on Michael J Fox, I'd still love Harry Potter, I just won't be so sad all the time, I won't get lost in my own depressing thoughts.

Part of me says that MAYBE if I didn't give that teacher the chance to save me, I wouldn't be where I am. I wouldn't be the biggest fan *cough*facebook stalker *cough* of the improv troupe, since I wouldn't have needed the extra credit in English that compelled me to go to the first show. I may not have found Nerdfighteria as soon as I did, but then again, if I'd gone to a bigger college, may be I would have found it earlier. Maybe I'd be an intern at a magazine or writing somewhere for someone, well on my way to being who I want to be.

I just want to be happy with who I am, I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, and I just feel that if I wake up and I'm fifteen, I can do that.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome, because for the first times since... ummm... well... 2007 I have plans on a FRIDAY NIGHT! With a REAL LIFE PERSON! #omg

Books read: 36
currently reading: Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

ANSWERS!!

2010-08-19T22:11:00.002-04:00

Today I reveal the untrue fact. I must say that I'm intensely bad at these "pick the untrue thing about me!!" things because, frankly, I've done some really ridiculously weird shit in my life, so my untrue fact maybe be sadly disappointing, and I am sorry.

I have met John and Hank, as well as both of their wives.
TRUE: interesting story, the Paper Towns tour, Boston stop, I sat two seats over from, and talked to the Yeti. I talked to her before I knew she was the Yeti. Secret Brother Tom, made her stand up at one point in the thingy, and there was an audible gasp, and I turned to my friend, who isn't a nerdfighter but agreed to go with me and said "Oh my fucking God I just had like a three minute convo with the Yeti."
I high fived Hank and got to say hello to The Katherine, but The Yeti part was the most amazing thing ever.
BTW she is really, really, ridiculously pretty.

I once stayed at the same hotel as Snoop Dogg

TRUFACT: In Ireland actually, Here is photo graphic evidence:

That's right, I took this, and honestly I didn't really care, but whatevs, other people think it's cool

I met most of the friends I had in college on a trip to the bathroom
TRUFACT I have actually met, probably all the people I know in real life because I had to go to the bathroom. They attacked me, and hugged me, and then we became friends, and now I talk to 2 of them.

I once had a beta fish, Brisco, that lived for 3 years.
UNTRUE: Brisco lived for 4.5 years I got him shortly before I started college. He died, not joking, the last day of classes my senior year of college

I have a drawer full of spoons that I have collected *cough*stole*cough* from various restaurants
TRUEFACT: FILLED. I will take a picture of it to show you if I can get it open

I wear a bracelet on my wrist to signify the love I have for a fictional character who saved my life
TRUEFACT! A Prayer for Owen Meany, saved my life. I can honestly say that if I wasn't assigned to read that book that day, by that teacher, I wouldn't be alive. Owen Meany means so much to my life, that when I will be saving money to get part of the first line tattooed onto my arm so I don't have to wear the worn out ripped faux leather bracelet anymore.

There is rarely a day I don't wish to fall asleep and not wake up at 15 and have a do over
TRUEFACT: Wednesday, meaning, yesterday, was the first time in a while I didn't wish I could just start over at 15. That was the year I broke my ankle, the year life started to seriously suck. I would be in a way different place in my life if I could just re-do fifteen.

I have lived on both coasts of the United States
TRUEFACT: I lived in California until I was 18 months old or something, I don't remember it, but I lived there. My mom has pictures.

Sorry that I suck at this, but it was fun and I loved reading all of your "secrets" getting to know all my fellow BEDA-er's better.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I'm covered in highlighter and red pen, EDITING has started!

books read: 36
currently reading Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

Versatile Blogger!

2010-08-18T11:48:00.003-04:00

Firstly, I feel I should apologize for missing yesterday. Usually I get home at about 10:30 from Stranger than Fiction, so I was going to blog when I got back, BUT I got invited to go so somewhere with some cast members and since I never leave my house, I felt I should go. I feel hanging out with people is an acceptable reason to miss a blog, right? No? alright, but I still wouldn't change anything.

Anyway, a few days ago I was tagged in the versatile blogger award! YAY awards. So now, I must list 8 facts, seven TRUFACTS one UNTRUFACT, and you blog readers, must decide which I am lying about.

I have met John and Hank, as well as both of their wives.
I once stayed at the same hotel as Snoop Dogg
I met most of the friends I had in college on a trip to the bathroom
I once had a beta fish, Brisco, that lived for 3 years.
I have a drawer full of spoons that I have collected *cough*stole*cough* from various restaurants
I wear a bracelet on my wrist to signify the love I have for a fictional character who saved my life
There is rarely a day I don't wish to fall asleep and not wake up at 15 and have a do over
I have lived on both coasts of the United States

And there you are my friends guess the LIE!

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I think I got the end of my novel in super rough draft form last night!!

Books read 36
currently reading: Skinny by Ibi Kaslik

I'm tired.

2010-08-15T21:11:00.000-04:00

Can't I just be a Death Eater?

I'm never tired when I should be, like when it's sleep time, but all day, I will be tired. ALL DAY.

I left my house today! It's a big step into the world of not being a home bound except for Tuesdays during the summer kid. I start my job tomorrow, kinda, I get paid to be there, so I'm pretty sure that's what "starting" is.

What else has happened in my life...

I realized last night that I've been lying to myself and I am not really a Gryffindor. I was never a Gryffindor. If the sorting hat appeared, I would never be able to bust a sword out of it. I am a Slytherin. This was my facebook status, and my Dad commented on it... at dinner. He didn't know what a Slytherin was, so I basically Hermione'd it up and explained the History of Hogwarts to him.

I really need to get out of the house more, and, like, interact with people. I mean, I've always been the crazy Harry Potter obsessed nerd girl, but I need to leave the Internet. This crappy part time job thing really couldn't come at a better time for me.

I wish I was a better blogger. In reading you guys' blogs everyday, you seem to have a rhythm, I'm just a crazy person banging my head against the keyboard. Sometimes I'm amazed that I've created mildly coherent sentences.

Well, I'm going to sleep now, since I'm tired.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because there is a new Potions Master's Corner video. If you haven't seen them, Google that shit, you won't reget it. Unless you don't like funny things, then it's not as awesome.

books read 36
Currently Reading: Skinny by Ibi (basilisk) Kaslik

Whoa, deja vu

2010-08-14T19:43:00.000-04:00

Firstly, I just called my dog, Hermione. His name is Loakie. He's annoying and whines a lot, so I find myself yelling "Oh my God Loakie, SHUT UP."

Secondly, my friend didn't watch AVPS last night, so we're watching it tonight.

Thirdly, I've been watching HOUSE all day, and therefore have nothing to blog about. OH, except that in the Sims, my Sim me drowned, leaving my 3 sets of twin girls to be raised by a crazy person. Needless to say, I didn't save that shit. I didn't even know you could actually drown if there were ladders in the pool. WTF.

Lastly, Maggie, I completely agree with you. :) It's freakishly disturbing, but I like it.
AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because more Harry Potter Fan Made Musical watching is in my immediate future.

Books Read 36
Currently Reading: Skinny by Ibi Kaslik (who wants to take bets on how long it will take me to write "Ibi Basilisk)

Guess who got a job??

2010-08-13T19:59:00.000-04:00

Snape?

NO, ME!

Every time someone asks me a question my immediate answer is Snape? NO ONE EVER GETS IT. Except you guys, because you guys are Made of Win.

Before I get into Blogging mode, Thank you very much Maggie for your comment yesterday. I'm glad you liked it, and publication is my eventual goal. Perhaps one day, you will receive a magical advanced Reader's copy. :)

Back to the blogging! In the quest to get sad crappy part time job, I had to make a phone call to my former boss. If I'm going to be 100% honest with you, I have probably have the weirdest collective group of friends anyone one person had. It includes my 11th grade English Teacher, Random Improv comics, my Former Boss, who is a legit CRAZY PERSON, and three people I've never met that live far, far away, and you guys, I've decided you guys are my friends. I hope you're okay with this.

The person I'm probably the closest to lives the farthest. I have no friends that are either a. my age or b. live within hang out for the day driving distance. most of them live in this box I'm typing into. How did this happen? How did I become that person with no "real life" friends? It's so weird to think about. Not that I don't truly love my Nerd Girls, but it's weird. I've never met them and yet it feels like I've known them forever in a good way.

Laura, wrote a post yesterday about this same thing, which is why I was thinking about it. If I was to sit down and think about this, Laura is my best friend. We talk almost all the time. Today we became Pen Pals, because we're awesome, and we've never met.

This was going to be about how I got a job and how weird My Former Boss is, so is SO WEIRD, but I love her.

Actual Google Massage chat we had while she was on the phone with my new employer:
HER: Are you a terrorist?
ME: Not that I'm aware of.
HER: OK.
HER Have you ever been trained or plotted terrorist actions?
ME: No, WTF are you talking about?
HER: Have you ever trained anyone in the ways of terrorist?
ME: still no, seriously WTF?
HER: Just the questions they're asking me. LOL

This was my background check I guess.

I think I've rambled about nothing long enough, right? *omnipresent voice* RIGHT! right.
My phone alarm went off, it says it's "Joe Walker in a dress time."

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because soon I'll be able to buy t-shirts and get an oil change!

Books read 36.

A little bit of writing

2010-08-12T18:12:00.000-04:00

So yesterday, I said I would post some writing. Below is the 85th draft of the first chapter of the novel I've been writing since I was in 6th grade. Some form of this story has existed in my head/in countless notebooks since I was 12 or 13. This version contains a large amount of swearing, just so you know. I'd like to know what ya'll think. :)

From the Center of Our Universe (I may be changing this)

“Let’s get fucked up and die,” Rio sang horribly off key from atop his grey beast of a car, a Buick Century he rather sarcastically called “The Pearl,” not because of its boat-like shape and driving style. He just thought calling it “The Diamond” was overdoing it.

“I’m speaking figuratively of course!” I joined, from the hood. We were sixteen, but we could smell seventeen from that mid-September day. Both our birthdays were at the end of October. Nothing could stop us from living the lives we wanted then, Rio especially. We were carefree and innocent, as carefree and innocent as any high school junior could be. He spun onto his stomach and stared down the windshield at me, an almost full moon reflected off it into his face, making it hard to see his eyes.

“Like the last time I committed suicide,” he whispered.

“Social suicide,” Motion City Soundtrack finished. Rio never said that particular lyric. I didn’t understand why, it was one of the thousands of little quirks that Rio had.

I stared into his crayon green eyes, unblinking as the song continued, a sly smirk growing across this face. I’d fallen in love with that smirk in the summer before our seventh grade year. I don’t remember exactly why I remember the date, but I knew that at some point it would be of critical importance.

I had every detail of his smile memorized; the gap where his older brother, Harper, had punched out one of his eyeteeth peeked out at me. I giggled and spread out over the hood of his car. We listened in silence to the rest of the song. The best part was the beginning; there was no point in singing the rest of it. When it ended, and the sound of crickets was the only thing making noise around us, I felt Rio climb in through the driver’s window of The Pearl.

There was something oddly peaceful about our lake at night. The way the floodlights on the backside of the school, across the mirror black water lit up the middle school playground, making it glow almost heavenly. It was almost as if the chain link fence was covered in glitter at night. The moon even made a nearly perfect reflection into the lake, slightly distorted, but nearly perfect.

“Teagan,” Rio called from the driver’s seat. “It’s nearly ten, I should get you home. Your mom may change her mind about Layla’s party if I’m late getting you back again.”

“Fuck it, River,” I yelled, disturbing the peacefulness of the croaking frogs and crickets.

No one ever called Rio by his given name, not even his parents. He liked to pretend that he’d given himself his nickname because someone that dressed like him, in a beat up and burned jean jacket, with jeans cuffed to meet the high top of his red Chuck Taylor All Stars, didn’t have a “pansy” name like River. Being “Rio” was his slap in the face of society and self-fulfilling prophecies. His name wasn’t going to dictate the rest of his life.

Honestly, the story he made up was a lot more interesting than his mom’s mild insanity. His mom had named him after River Phoenix, but apparently, it’s bad luck to name your child after someone who dies of a drug overdose. She figured it would lead to a similar fate for him. Giving him the Spanish equivalent was the best thing she could think of, because calling him by his middle name, Gregory, would be excessively complicated, a lot of paperwork to file with the school district, or something.

The driver’s door of The Pearl slowly opened, making a rusty sound. I don’t really think rust actually makes a noise, but that’s what I thought of when that door opened, rust rubbing on rust. Rio climbed onto the hood next to me. “The lake does look quite pretty tonight,” he said

“It’s the moon. It’s always makes everything look more amazing.” I answered as his arm came to rest around my shoulder. My stomach did that sickening I-have-a-crush-on-him-but-shhhh back flip it always did when Rio got too close to me. “I’ll just tell my mom that we were on our way back and my phone was on silent so I didn’t know she called. She can’t get too upset being five minutes late on a Friday night.”

“If you say so,” I heard his voice through his crocked smile. “She’s just looking out for you, you know, being out at night with the dangerous Davenport boy. You never know what kind of shenanigans I’ll get you involved in.”

I placed my head against his chest, letting the knot in my stomach tighten. “It’s not like I haven’t been hanging out with you every day since we were five. I mean, she should get by now that you’re not going to kill me.”

“Parents are hard to convince sometimes,” he said in a way that made me believe that there was nothing Rio didn’t know, like he’d lived a thousand past lives. “Maybe in another twelve years she’ll start to trust me.”

“Maybe, you can never tell with Rebecca, though. How long has she been pissed at your mom now?”

“Like twenty years,” Rio laughed. “Old cheerleading rivalries die hard in Kurtwood.”

I heard my cell phone vibrate on the passenger’s seat of The Pearl, then turned Rio’s arm to see the time: 10:02. A deep sigh escaped my lungs.

“If you don’t answer that, your mom’s going to send a search party out for you,” he said taking his arm back and sliding off the car. I rolled my eyes, as I slid off the opposite side.

My mom had always been strict about rules: home by eight on school nights, ten on weekends, call even if you’re going to be ten seconds late. It was ridiculous. My sister never had to deal with the crap my parents did to me. I’d never done anything that would lead her to distrust me, but then again I was best friends with the middle Davenport boy.

“Just drive, Rio. We’ll be back before she calls again.”

“If she tries to murder me with a spoon for kidnapping you, I hope you’ll jump in front of me.”

“I always do.”

I turned to watch him as he drove. It was painfully obvious how I felt about him, yet he seemed to ignore it. I guess he didn’t want anything to change, in a way I didn’t really want it to change either. It would have messed up our whole relationship. I mean, we’d been friends since preschool. I couldn’t go around playing with relationship that runs deep like that. We were friends before boys and girls were even supposed to like each other. But there is always something that draws the messed-up kids together. Not that we were actually messed up when we were five, but I think, subconsciously we knew our families would drive both of us completely insane.

Rio slid The Pearl seamlessly around the sharp curve and into my driveway.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I whispered, opening the door. “Layla’s birthday party is a little bit more important than whatever my mom’s going to make me do. I’ll escape.”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Teag,” Rio warned, as I closed the rusty door. I stood by our never used basketball hoop as he backed out of the driveway, watching the headlights as they slowly moved down my body and out into the road, turned, and illuminated the trees and rocks across the street.

____

If you would like to read more I have it posted online here: http://www.webook.com/project/From-the-Center-of-Our-Universe-1

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I'm one chapter closer to actually finishing a complete draft of "Universe," and I actually like it. :)

Books read 36
Currently between books.

Jobs!?! and I have weird friend

2010-08-09T19:06:00.000-04:00

I had a job interview today! It was at Walmart, but still JOB! I basically have it, but they have to check my references and awesomely enough both of my former bosses are on vacation this week... So possibly by this time next week, I might have a job!! Unless Adam is a totally douche canoe, which is oddly likely but still #yes

Did I just hash tag my blog? Yes, yes I did.

My dad also believes that Neville will come home. I'm interested to see how he reacts to have three cats if this happens, especially considering that Spencer hisses at everything, Indy is mentally unstable and Neville will eat anything that moves.

I got questions in the comments, this is also a reminder to ask me questions, so that I don't bore you to death with my boringly boring life.

My friend, asked me which I preferred, Tumbr or Blogger. This is an unfair question. There is no comparing. Yes, there are both blogging websites, but I see Tumblr more like a twitter with more Harry Potter, and by Harry Potter, I mean StarKid, and by StarKid, I believe Jen will know what I mean.

OH! Speaking of Tumblr, I saw the most amazing thing, which probably no one else will find funny. There is a video that's a behind the scenes StarKid scene and there's a .gif of Joe Walker eating Ice Cream and a comment from the video labeled "BEST youtube video comment ever: Is there any reason one of the kids is eating ice cream with a fork?" /things only I find hilarious.

Anyways, I like blogger for writing. I prefer it for writing. Tumblr is for short things, I tend to be long winded even when I'm not talking about anything, which I'm sure ya'll have noticed. I'm not, like, good at making things, but I like seeing things that other people have made. I enjoy reblogging them and giggling at things until iced tea squirts out my nose and I have to explain to my Dad what just happened. My Dad finds youtube comments unfunny

Also JenJen, I FOUND that Kevin is a Hufflepuff.

There is literally no way to end this blog entry in a way that makes any logical sense. So...

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because JOB! #notasentence

Books read 35
Currently reading: Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

Everyone is posting pictures of cats!

2010-08-08T19:49:00.000-04:00

I was reading the BEDA's that have been posted today so far, and it seems that EVERYONE is posting adorable cat pictures. This makes me miss my cat even more.

My cat, Neville, I believe I've talked about him before and how he ran away, is the best cat of all time. I know everyone thinks this, but Neville, much like his namesake, was a totally BAMF. He used to beat up our dog and kill mice, squirrels, frogs, and one time, he ATE A SNAKE. I rescued him, when he was a baby, his previous owners broke his back legs, and he was four months old when I got him.

Neville, the most adorable BAMF ever.

My parents seem to believe that he has died. I still believe that he will come back, but today my grandmother sent y mom and e-mail telling her she could keep the kitten we got her for mother's day. So, we took in Spencer, so named after the elder brother of the title character of Maureen Johnson's latest novel Scarlet Fever.

Since moving into our home, little Spencer has spent 3 hours hiding in our bathtub terrified of our giant dog. It would be funny if Loakie (the dog) didn't keep trying to lick him. He also doesn't want the cat to play with his toys. Loakie is a horrible dog, in case you were wondering.

I really miss Neville. He was so awesome, and I really hope he isn't dead, but if he doesn't come home, I hope that whomever has him is good to him. I just want him to come back to where he belongs. I hope that if he does, he doesn't think that I've replaced him. There's no replacing Neville. Spencer is just another kitten that needed a home, much like Nevz was when my dad almost backed him over with the Uhaul truck.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome because Spencer is trying to catch a fly, and it may be the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Books read 35

Currently reading: 20 boy summer by Sarah Ockler

Oh, wow, I need some excitement.

2010-08-07T21:03:00.002-04:00

Today was, as I guess anyone who has read more than one post this month can imagine, a rather boring and non-eventful day. It involved looking for Strawberry Hill Wine because my brother wanted it, and my mother getting annoyed that I think Strawberry Hill Wine is "funny." It's not funny, it's just I know my brother doesn't read and therefore doesn't understand Strawberry Hill's effect on popular culture, and neither of them know what a Nerdfighter is.

My Mother's car is broken, so I now either have to go everywhere with her, or let her drive my car, and seeing how she isn't going to put gas in my car either way I might as well go. She gets highly annoyed with my taste in music and likes to change my station or switch CD's and not change them back which is, rude? annoying? something anyway. I always change it back, it's just the right thing to do. I feel it's in the best interest of my sanity when I turn my car on to make sure nothing happens, and the Bonnie Gruesen/ Hermione Granger sings "Coolest Bitch on Earth God Damn it" every time I turn on my car, you know, strictly for self esteem purposes.

Anyways, I am currently listening exclusively to Team StarKid music in my car, I have manged to sneak some music not written by Darren Criss into the rest of my life. It's a slow process, but I did miss Pete Townsend and Scar from the Lion King (don't judge, Be Prepared is the #1 song on my Ipod, even after listening to the StarKid album for almost 3 week straight). As we get to the store the Cho Chang song plays and my mother says "This song is stupid Skinny doesn't even come close to rhyming with Cho Chang." Yes, mother, that is, in fact, the whole point of the song.

I know I listen to ridiculous music, I don't need you to tell me that it's stupid because you don't see the point. Don't make me explain the Harry Potter Musical to you AGAIN. Just shhh, I don't complain about whatever stupid music you play when you're driving.

Have I ever mentioned I hate living here? Yes? Okay, just checking.

In other things, Thank you Rachel and Hannah for your comments on yesterday posts. :) *Interwebz Hugz* It really does help my lack of self everything to know that are people that think I'm a little bit awesome, even if I don't see it anymore.

I promise I will try to be less annoying and 15 year-old girl like, and do something awesome by the end of this month that is worth blogging about. That is my promise to the rest of the BEDA-ers.

ALSO! I made this!!

I am very proud of it. :)

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome for the same reason yesterday was awesome, except there is a new video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyBiOBVnukc No singing in this one, but some pseudo-break dancing. Wizarding God I love this Improv troupe SO MUCH.

Books read: 35

Currently reading Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

And on Friday, Nothing Happened.

2010-08-06T18:52:00.000-04:00

Seriously, I have to be the single most boring 23 year old in the world.

I can imagine all the other cool people going out on Friday night, drinking, or clubbing, or watching {Harry Potter} movies with a large group of friends, or just hanging out. I honestly can't remember the last time I did something on a Friday night that wasn't sitting alone in my room. This saddens me greatly.

It's not like I don't want to go out, have fun, met people, have friends, but it's like, I don't know how to do that, or I'm afraid. It's been so long since I've been able to meet someone IRL and be friends with them. The friends I had in college kind of came to me I guess, it's a weird story. I've never been good at making friends, and I suck even worse at keeping them. Every time I'm around a group of people I hear the words of my former best friend saying "You're just to weird to even fucking exist." This was something she used to say all the time. Looking back I have no idea why we were friends in the first place, but whatever. It's become a kind of self fulfilling prophecy. I heard it so many times that I didn't bother to try anymore.

I guess I'm just tired of feeling sorry for myself. I'm sick of being the person that no one talks to because they think I'm weird. Yes, I'm incredibly socially awkward, but no, there's really nothing I can do about it. I mean, I'm less awkward than I was a year ago, I can actually look at people when I talk to them now! Getting away from that girl was probably the best thing I ever did for myself. No, she wasn't the reason for most of my social problems, but she wasn't exactly helping either.

I really don't want this post to be about her.

I'm tired of being that person. I'm tired of being the background but I don't know how to make it so that I'm in the spotlight. I hate yelling "Hey Look At Me!" but I feel like I might have to. Maybe that's what I have to do to be noticed or liked or at least not ignored.

Anyway, sorry for the "poor me" post, I'll do my best to be less annoying and whiny. I'm not normally annoying and whiny, but in this first week of BEDA that seems to be the Deanna ya'll are getting, Sorry 'bout that.

As always, if you have weird questions, or anything like that I would love to answer them tomorrow. Thank you guys for reading. :)

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I figured out how to get the video from my camera onto youtube, and I posted THIS video of Stranger Than Fiction. It's a really funny song about Rainbows and Square dancing :)

Books read 35
currently reading: 20 Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

Less angst, I'm getting too old for this shit.

2010-08-05T16:22:00.000-04:00

Firstly, thanks for the nice comments on yesterday's post. Sorry to get all angst-y and complain-y and annoying, but sometimes, I need an outlet. This is why normal people have best friends.

Maggie asked to be facebook friends in the comments yesterday, and I accept. I would love to be facebook friends with you, thanks :) I've really enjoyed reading all the other BEDA blogs out there. It makes me feel like I'm a part of something, and recently, well, for a long time, I haven't felt like I belonged anywhere.

Anyways, I was asked on Tuesday's post by Nick who my favorite youtuber was and why. This makes me want to tell the story of how I got into youtube. I feel that it's a story very similar to almost everyone else's story, but I'm telling it anyway.

One September day in 2008, my friend Jen sent me a youtube link in an AIM message saying: You love Harry Potter, you'll love this. I spent the next 4 days watching every single VlogBrother video up to that point. From John and Hank started to watch the 5 awesome Girls and Guys and officially became a part of Nerdfighteria. Through watching both 5AG's I started watching videos by people they recommended and found the person that I have to say makes my favorite videos. That person is JustMargaret. I LOVE her. She's funny and nerdy and reminds me of someone that I would be friends with in real life. So if I had to pick a favorite person on the Tubes, it's Margaret.

In completely unrelated news, Emma Watson, who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies, cut all her hair off, and apparently, its a HUGE deal on Tumblr.

Everyone else in the HP cast is changing their hair, but OMG the girl did it, life has ended. For the record, I think it looks nice Emma. Some girls can't pull off short hair, and I think she does it wonderfully. It's a big change from Hermione, which, honestly is the best thing she can do right now.

And the fact that Joey Richter, who plays Ron in the Musical, looks like Chip Skylark from the Fairly Odd Parents and MAY be putting together a Youtube Video in which he sings "My Shiny Teeth and Me." I will keep you all updated on that awesome piece of news, because, frankly, I'm far too excited about it.

This is Chip Skylark, in case you didn't know.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today is awesome because of you guys reading this blog. It felt nice to have people I don't know say "Hey it's going to be okay, chin up." I makes me feel like a person again. Thank you guys, really

Books Read 35

Currently Reading: 20 Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

I hate living here

2010-08-04T20:10:00.000-04:00

It should be noted, that I live with my parents. I hate being here. I hate being around them, I always have, as long as I can remember. I don't want to live here, but seeing as I can't get a job, and I have no friends, I can't live anywhere else. The only thing I had to talk to, was my cat Neville, and he ran away, or died, or something. I haven't seen him since Friday.

Anyway, I want to spend the smallest amount of time possible around my parents. So, needless to say, I spend a lot of time in my room on the computer or reading. Since I have no actual people friends, I drown myself worlds that only exist inside other people's imagination.

Today I was eating dinner and my mom walks into the room, sees me and throws a newspaper at me, and says: Read this there's an article about how one of the restaurant in town lost it's liquor licence because of the accident. I put the paper down on the table because I have no interest in the subject and she freaks out and asks me what my problem is.

The accident, happened about a year and a half ago, a kid I went to middle school with was killed whilst driving too fast after drinking too much. I live in a small town, it was all anyone talked about for, like, a year. And my mom doesn't get that it bothers me when she talks about it like it's just some person I didn't know. But it is a person I knew, it's a person that shows up in the "People you may know" section of my facebook all the time. A person I spent seven years of my life with every week day between September and June. He was the first person my own age that I knew to die. She just doesn't get that. I don't want to read news paper articles about it, I don't want to drive down the road to see the new memorial. I don't want to listen to people talk about it all the time. And she doesn't fucking get it.

Yes, it was a year and a half ago. No, I'm not over it. No, he wasn't my friend. No, I didn't even like him all that much. Yes, the last time I saw him he waved to me and I hid behind my now former best friend. But whatever, stop talking about it like I'm not supposed to care anymore. Because I do, and I always will.

I'm sick of being told I'm lazy and doing nothing. I'm sick of being told I'm not good enough, or smart enough to do things. I'm sick of living with a group of people I can't stand. I want to get out of here. I hate when I'm told I'm not trying hard enough to get a job, because, seriously, no one wants a job more than I do. I want to get out of here and never look back.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

I'll answer the questions that were left on Yesterday's post tomorrow.

Questions Answered

2010-08-03T13:40:00.000-04:00

I shall now answer your burning questions.

Rachel asked what kind of music I listen to, which is probably the hardest question I will ever have to answer. In truth, there isn't really a genre that I listen to more than others, well, maybe Wizard Rock, according to Itunes that is the genre that I have the most songs of, but I listen to a lot of everything. My favorite band is The Who, I've loved them forever, but I also really love Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers and Motion City Soundtrack. These three bands are completely different and in no way interconnected. The music that I listen can vary daily. I think it has something to do with the time we live in. With the access to the Internet and all different kinds of music and artists its hard to really pick one that you like more than anything.

I hope that makes sense.

Hannah and Vita both commented on how in my bio it says "I make Harry Potter references at inappropriate times." This steams from most of my sophomore year of college when I decided that EVERYTHING could, in fact be made into a HP reference. I do, however, agree with you, there is NO wrong time to make a Harry Potter reference, and with the musicals, it makes it SO much easier, everything is now a Harry Potter reference and I love it.

In the novel I'm writing I have a character that outwardly seems like, basically, a moron, but she has some of the more important "lines" in the book; the ones that change the course of the story or bring out a plot point. I am determined to make every single one of these thing a Harry Potter related sentence.

I loved that people actually asked questions!! This is why I love BEDA its such a great blogging community. I'm really enjoying reading everyone's blogs, and I hope that I'm at least a little bit entertaining. Again, if anyone has any questions about anything, me, life, quantum physics, leave them in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them tomorrow.

I am now off to the weekly Improv show that I go to. I'll tell ya'll about it tomorrow, hopefully I'll have pictures.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because Tuesday = Jake Ryan day :)

books read 35
currently reading: 20 Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

A day late, but hey, you should know who I am

2010-08-02T14:43:00.002-04:00

I was reading a bunch of the BEDA/ Blaugust posts that my fellow bloggers wrote yesterday, and I feel that I should introduce myself to anyone who has never read my blog before.

I am Deanna, I'm 23 and a HUGE nerd. Most of the Nerdyness revolves around Harry Potter.

I'm trying to become a writer, I'm really working on it. I'm like 98% done the first draft of a novel I've been writing for a while now. There's maybe, like, two, possibly three, chapters that I need to write. I just can't seen to get it.

I LOVE Maureen Johnson, not just for her books but for the person that she is; on twitter anyway. It gives me hope that I'm not too weird to exist, as some people that I have somehow managed to be best friends with in my life has suggested.

I have a huge crush on a person that I will refer to as Jake Ryan in this blog, because I love 80's movies. Unlike the real Jake Ryan, he knows I exist, I just don't really think he cares all that much.

This is my Desktop Wallpaper:

What else... umm, I'm a Gryffindor. I like to speak in code names, but I really don't hang out with enough people in the course of my life to list them.

If there is anything else you, people of BEDA would like to know, ask away! I'll answer any questions either in the comments on Tomorrow.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
(oh, I'll explain this. I'm a fan of John Irving novels, I mean, what 23 year old girl isn't! JKs no other 23 year old girl is. Anyway in A Widow For One Year, there is a guy that writes children's books, and that's how all of them end. So I've been ending my blogs with "And that is the end of the story since 2004, when I first read it. It's in ALL CAPS because of another John Irving Novel: A Prayer for Owen Meany.)

Today is awesome because I think it's raining, it hasn't rained in, like FOREVER, and rain may make my cat come back.

Books Read in 2010: 35
Currently Reading: 20 boy summer by sarah ockler

Blaugust

2010-08-01T19:42:00.001-04:00

Welcome to what I'm going to call "Blaugust," a term I stole from one of my friends because I thought it was funny.

Honestly, my life isn't that exciting, and recently I've been in this weird uncreative rut. It sucks. I want to blame Harry Potter, and A Very Potter Sequel, but I honestly can't. The rut started before the Sequel debuted on YouTube. I haven't really read anything either, which is weird for me. I'm ALWAYS reading.

I'm currently downloading AVPM off YouTube, I downloaded the Sequel earlier, the first one is giving me some serious issues. I honestly hope my life gets more interesting so I have something to actually, you know, blog about. I'm fully committed to Blogging Every Day in August. I just hope that there are few days like this one, and lots where I have things to say.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because I learned how to rip youtube videos which is Probably illegal, but whatever.

Books read 35

Why I still love Harry Potter

2010-07-23T15:39:00.000-04:00

Last night was the YouTube premiere of A Very Potter Sequel, the sequel to last year's YouTube sensation, A Very Potter Musical. I, of course, watched it. AVPM changed and defined the fandom, much the way that Wizard Rock did.

If you don't know, AVPM is a parody of the books done excellently. It's a group of college kids in a theater group, and this people are amazing. It was written by the kid that plays Harry in the play, it's just, just, totally awesome. If you love Harry Potter, the is a decent chance that you will like it. It changes the way you see Harry Potter, and just displays the power of the fandom.

AVPM and AVPS they just do something to the story, enhance it, improve it if that's at all possible. Knowing that it's fan made matteral makes it all the much better. They take characters we know so well, Harry, Ron, Voldemort, Snape, Cedric, Quirrel, Draco, Dumbledore, and in the new one Lupin, and Sirus, and change them, in a good way. After watching the plays, you'll never see them the same, never think of Hufflepuff without having the hard to control urge to yell "FIND!" In re-reading the books this spring I didn't see the Ralph Fiennes Voldemort, I see the Joe Walker Voldemort. It's that fucking awesome.

At the end of the play, Harry Potter says this, and honestly, I may have cried a little: "They’re gonna try and tell me that this wasn’t real and that this didn’t happen. You know what, it was real and it did happen. We spent time here, we made friends here, and that’s a part of us. ‘Cause Hogwarts is bigger than any of us, it’s bigger than any of its founders, and it’s gonna be here long after we’re gone. Maybe we’ll see our kids come here one day. That’s the thing about Hogwarts—no matter how long you’re away from it, well, there’s always a way back.”

THAT is why I love Harry Potter. This is what Harry Potter is. This is why I love Harry Potter, because it is real. It's real to us. the last book came out three years ago this week. The last movie comes out a year from now, but that doesn't mean its the end. JK Rowling has created something that lives outside the covers of her books. She created a world that is better because she wrote a book. We, as the the fans, have taken what Harry has given us and turned it into art, and music, and charity organizations.

I glad I get to be a part of it.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

2010-07-16T00:09:00.000-04:00

Honestly, I'm probably the worst reviewer of things ever. I mean people ask me what kind of music I like and I say something like "I don't really know." Because that's true, but when I find a band or a song I really like I can't tell people about it because I can't wrap my head around how amazing it was and have it make sense, it comes out something like "It's kinda like the Killers, only completely different and with more cymbals." Because that, is a review.

I was horrible at Book Reports too. I remember one I did in 8th grade on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which BTW is my favorite of the series, and I, like, failed, because I'm bad at summerizing.

This has a point, I promise.

Recently, by recently I mean like, a minute ago, I finished a book I think anyone reading this blog should pick up, or borrow from me. It's called "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman. It's a about a seventeen year old girl named Mia, who is in a HORRIBLE CAR ACCIDENT in the second chapter of the book which kills her parents, her little brother is also in the car. I feel that this should be emphasized since it isn't on the back cover, and it's sort of a mystery how this girl ends up in a comma, but HORRIFIC CAR ACCIDENT. This made me want to stop reading. I mean it's been a year and a half, but still reading about seeing brain matter on the road and knowing what happened that December night, was still a lot hard to handle.

Once I pick the book back up again and got past the crying in a public park in front of people for a fictional family, I got to the core of the book which is this girl, watching herself in a coma, deciding whether she should stay and fight and live in this world, or go join her family.

It chonicals her time in the coma as well as her life before the accident, and how these are reasons she should stay, or reasons she should go. It's powerful.

It's beautifully written, every word of it. It does say on the cover "Will appeal to fans of Twilight" but when I first saw it, it was still in hard cover and didn't say that, and I didn't notice until I got home, but anyway, there are no CREEPY VAMPIRES or NOT REALLY BUT THANKS FOR TRYING WEREWOLVES. It's not really fantasy, but kind I guess, I don't see it as fantasy because I view fantasy as the kind of book like Harry Potter or Twilight or something with far off lands and stuff. This is more surreal. But it is really amazing.

I know I'm, like, the WORST reviewist in the world, but I hope that explains why it's awesome. It's one of those books that makes you want to write like that, like reading a Sarah Dessen book. It's heartfelt and real, and most importantly, unlike Twilight, well written.

I hope that what I just wrote makes some kind of sense and maybe persades someone to read it, I hope it does. I really enjoyed it. In the books I've read this year I've only said "WAIT STOP THE PRESSES THIS BOOK IS FREAKING AWESOME twice, and I've read some AMAZING literature this year. I hope that says something as well. I mean, I want, like, my opinion to mean something.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome because, well the weather was wonderful, and I read a wonderful book

Books read: 35
Since my last blog I have read: The Hunger Games, Catching Fire - both by Suzanne Collins and If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Everyone is someone's biggest fan, I just happen to be yours

2010-06-22T23:56:00.000-04:00

Tonight was the third Tuesday of the summer.

To regular people, summer technically started yesterday, but for me, summer started on the 8th with the first Stranger than Fiction show of the season. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that I LOVE STF and everything about them, if you are a new reader, I'll explain real quick.

STF is an improv comedy troupe based out of Portsmouth NH, My High School English Teacher is among it's members. I have been attended the shows religiously since 2004. You can't really explain it much more than that unless you see the shows.

Anyway, after being mildly traumatised by Jon Wellington, (btw it's worth the $12 cover charge to see Jon Wellington live, again it's something you just need to see.) I stood outside to talk to the cast because I haven't talked to my High School English Teacher since December (I know that seems odd, but High School English Teacher and I have a weird relationship) and I missed talking to him at the graduation on Friday.

Until tonight, I wasn't formally introduced to the new cast members, I've been told I'm talked about regularly, which is weird, but whatever, everyone's famous for something.Tonight High School English Teacher turned to one of the new people and said: "Have you met Deanna? She's our biggest fan."

It's cool to be recognized for something, even if it's something like going to over 50 improv shows.

High School English Teacher told me that with the new website that should be up this week, (with everything High School English Teacher does, I'll believe that there is a new website when I see it) that they were thinking about having a "biggest fan" part, which according to him, would without a doubt be me he said: "You'd have to stop coming to shows for a while for {BP's Mom} to even come close to seeing as many shows as you."

How cool would that be, he told me to think of something that I could put up on the sight, maybe I could do pictures or a little mini blog or inside jokes or something. I mean there's just so much that I love about them, and the fact that it's not just High School English Teacher, but other members of the cast the recognize that I spend a lot of time and money going to these shows, that I truly love them, that I've seen more shows then their parents or wives/husbands, it means something.

I got a tweet a little while ago, when I wasn't even thinking about STF, from High School English Teacher, it said something along the lines of "FYI STF speaks of you highly and often, you're officially our biggest fan from many years running."

I'm just glad I could be a part of it. Even if it's just from the front row of the audience.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today was awesome because it is Tuesday, and frankly, Tuesday has always been my favorite day of the week

Books read: 32
Currently (re) Reading: A Prayer of Owen Meany by John Irving

Sometimes I just feel SO OLD

2010-06-19T14:51:00.000-04:00

Last night, I went to the graduation of a good friend of mine's little sister. When I graduated, she was in 7th grade, and high school graduations make me feel old anyway. I mean, I graduated five years ago, but it seems like so much has happened in those five years. All of a sudden my friends are married and have babies, there was a girl there that I graduated with who was pregnant with what I think is her third child, and she's been married for almost five years. It's weird, but in a small town like the one I grew up I guess it's not that unusual to have a larger percent of people that get married young and start families while people are still in college. That particular pregnant high school classmate's husband, also a fellow class of 05-er, is in the military, so I kind of feel their life is in a fast forward mode that other people aren't.

ANYWAY, the friend which I was watching her sister graduate, I haven't seen this friend in four years, since she graduated from high school. In that time she's moved fourteen hours away, married a guy that I haven't met, but seems really amazing, and now she has a 4 month old daughter, whom I met yesterday, which honestly is why I went to the graduation.

After the graduation I walked around looking for our High School English Teacher, who, as usual took off the second he wasn't needed anymore and was home before we left the soccer field, because he @replied me on twitter before we got to Applebees. She, my friend, wanted High School English Teacher to met her daughter, but alas, since he has magical powers, he missed out. I was holding the baby and a different English Teacher came over to talk to us and in a mildly funny moment said. "Oh my God De Cooley is that your baby?" My brother is Facebook Friends with her, I feel my brother would relay this information to her if it was true. We also live in a small town, she would have known before I showed up at graduation with an infant, but anyway, I was like "nope it's her's." I enjoyed that moment, just for the look on that English teacher's face.

I went to Applebees with 3 friends after graduation, so that we could catch up with the friend we hadn't seen in years and talk about the silly stuff we always talked about, like "Life To-Do Lists," which include things like meeting the cast of Harry Potter, and telling better jokes; and life Not-To-Do lists, like being pregnant twins and stealing sperm from dead people to have zombie babies.

As you, blog reader, know, I tend to feel, especially lately after moving back home, that I don't have any, or many friends, last night, for the first time in a while I felt like I really did have people. They weren't people that I hung out with a lot in high school, in truth, I became better friends with one of these girls after high school, more to going to STF than anything, in another is really my little brother's friend, but sitting there eating and drinking lemonade and talking until they closed, I felt like I did back then, back when I knew I had friends and people to talk to.

My friend took the train back early this morning, but I do have a picture of her and her beautiful little daughter, and I've been promised daily text messages with pictures of the baby so I can watch her grow up from far away, but I know I'll get to see her during her sister's spring break next year, and if it's anything like last night was, it will be like no time has past, the way friendship should be.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I have the Sims 3 to make friends live next door to me in my video game world.

Books read: 32
Currently Reading: A Prayer for Owen Meany (needless to say: ReRead.)

Remember in 6th grade when anything was possible?

2010-06-07T19:17:00.001-04:00

Last week for Nerds to the Power of 5 we were giving the challenge to put the five of us in a band. Because of situations out of my control, mostly because people don't inform me of plans that they make for me, and then don't accept the fact that I want nothing to do with said plans, I was unable to make a video on Monday, or a make up video on Saturday.

Normally, I would just add last week to this week's topic, but I feel that I MAY talk to much about this week's topic, so I'm just going to blog the video I would have made last week.

When I was in sixth grade, two big things happened, first, Corey and Topanga broke up, and The Back Street Boy, N*Sync, The Spice Girls, and Hanson, hit it big. Because of the second thing, my best friends and I decided to start a band.

One of us played the flute and another played the clarinet if I remember right, they may have quit by this point, but I know they played then at one point, anyway I remember that we voted and decided that we would all be singers, several of the five of us were in chorus. We had a black notebook that we passed between the five of us that we wrote all our songs in, I think I still have it, but I'd have to really look for it. If I do it buried under years of school work and notebooks. I don't remember a lot of it, but I do distinctly remember that one us, Pheebs, wrote a song about boys and one of the lyrics was "Stick him with a fork."

We used to walk around at recess and thing up what would make good album covers and stuff. We were pretty convinced at we could do this, I have no idea why, I just remember thinking that five girls from the Shire, with little to know musical experience could make a band, this was of course before the days of American Idol.

One day we just stopped trying to be a band. I don't know if it was because the school year ended or because we just lost interest. But I remember spending a good chuck of our school days working on writing songs, we never, like, rehearsed or anything, but we wrote a whole bunch of songs.

As for our challenge this week, I would give us the following assignments:
I would put Megan in the front, lead vocals: of all of us, I think that Megan is the most outgoing of all of us. From her Tumblr, I've seen her style, and I really love it, and I think she would make a wonderful front to our band.

I would have Mary on lead guitar, because she plays guitar, and that's kind of one the main requirements to play lead guitar.

I would have Noelles on drums, I see Noelles are more of a background person, I don't mean this in a mean way, it's just that even in THES, she would be a background person, as the Narrator in the plays. Although this is basically the main part, like the drums, the focus isn't on her, but she's supporting the whole thing. I hope that makes sense.

Laura I would have on rhythm, mostly so that I can jam with her on bass. I don't know if Laura feels the same way, but I see Laura was one of my really good friends. I feel like I could have known her forever, even though we've never met and she lives on the opposite side of the continent in a different country.

As for a name, I'm super horrible at naming things. I feel that there would be a nerdy reference of some kind like Megan suggested, and I feel it should be mildly obscure. As for an exact name, I'm not really sure.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome, because tomorrow, is Tuesday.

Books Read 31
Currently Reading: Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen

2010-05-11T00:35:00.001-04:00

I'm currently reading Dreamlandby Sarah Dessen, and I keep coming across these amazing brilliant lines, just pieces of sheer genius. I know that this lines floated around in her head looking for the perfect moment to float out of her fingertips to the keyboard or flow out of her pen. I read them in complete awe of their amazing-ness.

When I read lines like that, I usually underline them, my copy Paper Towns by John Green is filled with thin pencil lines, my Maureen Johnson books are as well. The only books I have that are exempt from my pencil underlining rule are my Harry Potter books those remain pristine, minus the chocolate sauce stains that a chubby 11 year old can't help but cover the sides of the pages of books she's reading with.

Most of the time its a piece of writing that I find funny or brilliant, something that I want to replicate in someway for myself. I want to have the same impact on a future reader that these writers have on me. I picture some girl like me sometime in the distant future, someone I'll most likely never meet reading a book with my name on the cover with a pencil marking something that I wrote and saying "Jeez this is amazing."

I want to be able to create this more than anything in the world. I want to write something people can relate to, something people will want to read over and over, and something that people can quote. I know it's a silly thing to want but I want it.

I think this the reason I'm having such a hard time finding a job. I don't want to sit behind a desk all day doing some stupid job I can't stand. I never want to work retail again in my life. I don't want to have to work for someone I can't stand. The only job I can see myself enjoying is the one I worked last summer, working with MFB and writing. I want to spend hours on end alone in a room with Microsoft Word and twitter open typing away. I just wish there was a way I could get paid to make up ideas, to type away for several hours a day, to read and re-read and re-write and edit, all before a single soul before myself sees it (expect JenJen, since she's my editor).

I know it's an unlikely goal, an almost pointless mission to even try, but I want this more than anything I've wanted in my entire life. And what sucks is that I can't write where I live now. I can't write in my parents house. I can't. Someone is always around, asking questions, making me do something, thinking I'm not doing anything but messing around on the computer when I'm not, I'm working. It's nothing they'd accept as work, but it's work, and hopefully, someday, it will all pay off.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

today is awesome because I managed to get half a chapter written before I got too annoyed with my parents and had to stop.

Books read: 24
currently reading: Dreamland by Sarah Dessen
recently finished: Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen

The Great Harry Potter Re-read of 2010

2010-05-04T10:59:00.000-04:00

Last night I finished reading, for the second time in it's entirety, the Harry Potter series. I've read the first three books, probably five times a piece, and the fifth and sixth ones twice before starting this venture in the beginning of April (The fourth book annoys me, and I couldn't deal with Fred's death in the seventh).

I wanted to re-read them because I wanted to feel a part of something again. I wanted to feel like I did the first time I opened the cover of Sorcerer's Stone when I was 11. I wanted to feel like I missed out of something awesome when I didn't get my Hogwarts letter. I also wanted to pick up on things that I missed, to find the little bits of information JK Rowling left along the way so we could figure it out on our own before Harry did.

I walked back into these books knowing what was going to happen, hoping I could see something I didn't see before, able to connect the dots in earlier books that I hadn't before. I learned to look at Draco Malfoy not as some annoying little prat, but as a confused little kid looking for his parents approval. I didn't even find Harry and Ron as annoying as I did the first time through (Hermione, still annoying).

I remembered my reactions to different parts of the books. Reading the end of first book on my mom's friend Janet's living sofa while all the other kids played video games down stairs. Being very upset when I didn't get the 2nd and 3rd ones for Christmas from my parents, then sitting next to the Christmas tree at my aunt's house during dinner and reading half of Chamber of Secrets. Laying outside at camp reading Goblet of Fire with a group of 9 year old campers, and crying a little bit for Cedric Diggory. Sitting on the pull out sofa in my family room with a broken leg when Sirus died. Sitting under register 10 at Market Basket at 6:30 am when I was supposed to be pulling curtains reading Half Blood Prince, whipping the book at Reckless and saying "OMG I HATE THIS BOOK!!!" when Snape killed Dumbledore and wanted more than anything to call Brittany, who was in French camp and discuss. Sitting at stop lights reading Deathly Hallows and crying like my best friend got crushed with a wall in the KMart parking lot when Fred Weasley died, laughing when Mrs. Weasley called Bellitrix a bitch. Cursing Jo for naming that poor kid Albus Severus.

That is my childhood, this is why these books mean so much to me, these books are a bigger part of my life than I even imagined when I decided to re-read a month ago. I mean, I knew Harry Potter was important, I knew that it meant a lot to me. But now, looking back at this last month, I see that Harry Potter isn't just a book, it's never been just a book, as I'm sure everyone who has ever read them can tell you, Harry Potter is way of life. Harry Potter is something that you walk away from feeling like you've done something, like you defeated Voldemort, like you fought Bellitrix, like you were the one to bury Dobby.

JK Rowling gave us all a gift, and I'm glad I got to re-open it, re-enjoy it, re-love it. And I can't wait to do it again.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Books Read: 22
Last read: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Thestrals

2010-04-20T10:49:00.000-04:00

I’m re-reading the series, and I came across something that confuses me: Thestrals.

You can only see then if you have seen death. Didn’t Harry see is parents die? Shouldn’t he have been able to see them the whole time? I read a wiki article that said he couldn’t see them when he was leaving Hogwarts after Cedric died because he hadn’t dealt with the death yet, which I can understand. It takes more than a week to process something like that. I remember still being upset about it when the 5th book came out, and I didn't even like Cedric Diggory.

I remember this part bothering me when I read the books the first and second times through, but now I have people to ask about this. So,why doesn’t Harry see the Thestrals through-out the whole series, but only once the 5th book begins?

Books That I've Read this year

2010-04-13T22:40:00.000-04:00

I decided that I needed to compile a list of the books I've read so far this year. Someone asked if I was keeping track, and yes I am. I'm currently in the middle of the Harry Potter Re-Read 2010.

1. Extras – Scott Westerfeld

2. Sloppy Firsts- Megan McCafferty

3. Second Helpings

4. Charmed Thirds

5. Fourth Comings

6. Perfect Fifths

7. Liar- Justine Larbalestier

8. So Yesterday- Scott Westerfeld

9. Night in Twister River – John Irving

10. Scarlett Fever- Maureen Johnson

11. 13 Reasons Why – Jay Asher

12. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac - Gabrielle Zevin

13. Good in Bed - Jennifer Weiner

14. PS I Love You - Cecelia Ahern

15. Will Grayson, Will Grayson – John Green and David Levithan

16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone- JK Rowling (re-read)

17. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (re-read)

18. (currently reading) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (re-read)

I'm trying for the 50 book challenge, I did a 25 book challenge last year, but I think I can do it.

I haz purple hair...

2010-04-04T11:05:00.000-04:00

So, since I'm like, an old person now (23), I figured that I could dye my own hair. And at this moment, I'm sitting in my room wearing a winter hat as proof that I cannot do such a thing.

I think I left the dye in too long, but Video Game Boy doesn't think it's that purple and his girlfriend likes it. VBG actually said "Oh it like REALLY REALLY deep auburn." and I was like, "Or purple." Then we continued to play mini golf.

Yesterday after I purple-fied myself, and then watched like 5 hours of Sober House on VH1 I decided to venture outside of my apartment, and go for a walk. I have a Gryffindor winter hat to hide my ridiculous hair from the children. I played on the swings for a while, until I felt too creepy being the old person on the swings at that park, so I call VBG and his GF and we ended up going mini golfing and buying ice cream. (we also ate the ice cream)

I love VBG and his GF. A lot of our friends don't really like the GF, but she's cool. She accepts the awkward best friend-y relationship VBG and I have and just laughs when he says stuff like: "Deanna, lets get in your car i'm cold." and doesn't even look at her.

OH that reminds me!! VBG and the GF are moving down the street from the apartment!! So they'll be here for the summer!!! I'm so excited.

AND STF starts on June 8th. I know I won't be making all the shows this year. But I'm SOOOO going to that one. I miss them. It's weird how you can miss people you aren't really friends with, but kind of are. I mean I talk to my HS English Teacher and two of the other cast memebers whom I don't have a nickname for in my blog yet, but I'll think of one, all the time on twitter and stuff, but it's not the same as sitting in that seat and listening to them sing about potatoes and carrots. (I love them)

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome becasue it's opening day for the Red Sox :)

Books read 15
Currently Reading: PS I Love You by Cecelia Ahern

Inside My Head There's No Telling What You'll Find

Another boring Deanna post

About the work

This book. Seriously

I sort of want to punch optimistic people in the face.

Book Blog Post.

New Year, Let's try again.

Wow, so it's almost 2012.

So, yeah, I failed at BEDA

So we kind of have an answer.

Because I matter.

Want to hear an embarrassing story?

I'm a rambler

In which Deanna complains about her job.

This is going to be short.

Time to hear about my doctor's appointment.

Deanna likes to copy people.

Aidan

In which Deanna talks Sims.

Already missed a day?

The only woman in space wants a sex change to make it with a robot.

Hello August!

I helped write a novel yesterday.

The notsome-ness that is my life.

Getting back on track.

Update

why I've been away

Oh, hi...

I'm pretty sure I missed a week, possibly two.

Let's talk about Glee, because it's Thursday and I'm still mad

BOW 11 week 7

I'm going to the TwiWizard Tournament. Bow #6

bow 11 #5 Again with the suck

Bow 11 #4 This week, basically, sucked.

week 3: I'm going to do a challenge.

BOW 11 #2 The internet has made me a nerd*

Because Maggie Asked

My resolutions.

Book Blog part 3

Book Blog part 2

Book Blog part 1

The 50 book challenge!

On a whim

I got called a Satanist today!

I cannot believe I haven't talked of this before.

Dedicated to the comment Maggie left earlier

I've just kind of excepted that,

Hi.

I just met Kristina Horner.

What Deanna did today.

This post may make me sound insane.

I work in retail. just murder me with a spoon.

HEY!!

I don't want to see you go

I am a follower

Let's do this

I should be asleep

Is it too early

Right now

I have nothing to write about.

It's Sunday of Harry Potter Weekend

I do not want to move.

Since it was asked, I might as well answer it.

ANSWERS!!

Versatile Blogger!

I'm tired.

Whoa, deja vu

Guess who got a job??

A little bit of writing

Jobs!?! and I have weird friend

Everyone is posting pictures of cats!

Oh, wow, I need some excitement.

And on Friday, Nothing Happened.

Less angst, I'm getting too old for this shit.

I hate living here

Questions Answered

A day late, but hey, you should know who I am

Blaugust

Why I *still* love Harry Potter

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Why I still love Harry Potter