*waves*

Hi, computer seems to be working today.

This is so stupidly annoying, I really just need a new computer.

I've seen some really awesome blogs today whilst scrolling through my Google Reader, so I'm probably going to steal some of your ideas in the coming days, just so you know. I like making lists, I'm just not sure how well my computer will take to trying to take pictures with my webcam tonight since it's getting kind of hot right now.

I really wish I had an interesting life to share with you when my computer actually worked. Today I mostly spent asleep because of the vertigo I've been dealing with but yesterday was Stranger than Fiction (STF) the improv show that I've been going to every Tuesday since 2004. I love them so much. I really wish that everyone got to experience seeing them, or at least live improv comedy at some point in there lives. It's hard to explain an improv show to someone who's never seen it, because it's so much better than the improv that you can see on tv. SO MUCH BETTER.

It also seems like I've managed to get myself into a situation where I'm being forced to read the 50 Shades of Gray series. I am not looking forward to it. My friend swears they're awesome, but I know that they're written poorly and I'll try to point this out and she'll get mad. I'm not, like, against the sexual nature of the book, which I think is what my friend believes is my objection, but I like reading things written by people who can write. In return for my reading this, my friend has agreed to read the Harry Potter series. So I guess I'm just going to suck it up and take one for the team on this one.

I've been so dizzy lately, but I've been trying to come across like a normal person. This sucks. I just really wish I could make it all stop. I figured with the removal of the stressers it would stop, but no.


I will have a better blog for you tomorrow, probably stealing some ideas from fellow BEDA-er's whom I will  credit with the idea in the blog, but right now google chrome, or more so Clementine the computer from hell, doesn't want me to have two windows open right now.


I will hopefully talk to you tomorrow my fellow bloggers!

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Excuses, excuses.

So my computer is broken.

I know it doesn't have a virus, because I scanned it and took it to the computer guy, but it's fucked up. It only works when it feels like it, and getting it to stay on for long periods of time seems to be difficult. And when it does stay on, sometimes, the letters don't work. So perhaps saying I would say I would blog everyday in August might have been a bad idea, but I'm still going to try to do this.

So that's why I didn't blog this weekend, that and I was extremely hungover yesterday and looking at lights wasn't a very good idea.

Anyway, I'm going to try to do better.

I'm going to have to cut this short though, since my computer has blue screened twice and just shut off for no reason three times since I started writing this at 9:30.

This is really starting to get annoying.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Today at the work

Today at work I got hit on by a sketchy person.

Well, kinda, he was, like, kind of nice looking, but he was also hitting on the walmart cashier while I was trying to process his moneygram and he messed up writing $50 on the slip, so yeah.

I've never been hit on really before, like, ever. So it was pretty nice, but still creepy.

He was like "So, do you have a boyfriend? What time do you get out of work, maybe we could get together later."

And I was just like, no thanks, weird guy.

And that was my today today.

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Hello August.

Hi, welcome to August, were I try to blog everyday, and as I do so I slowly realize how horribly boring my life is, but thank you for reading and understanding anyway.

For those new to BEDA, I'll do the typical introduction thing, just in case.

I am Deanna, I am 25 years old, and I currently am working the incredibly mindless place known as walmart. I really, really, really hate my job, so in the next month be prepared. I'm currently working through what I can only explain as the longest and darkest period of depression I've experienced in my life. I'm learning to be a person again. It's hard. but I'm trying.

I'm currently quite enjoying watching the Olympics or, you know, enjoying watching freakishly attractive athletic people do things I could never do while providing my own intensely inappropriate commentary. But that's what The Games are for right?

I really don't have an interesting life. I really don't, I'm boring and lonely and most of the time sad, but I'm going to try this again. I've done BEDA twice, I know I can complete the challenge, I just have to put my mind to it.

What else would you like to know? I'm open to answering questions left in comments in tomorrow blog if whomever is reading this feels so inclined. Any kind of question, personal questions, non-personal questions, pop culture questions, whatever.

I look forward to spending this next month reading and commenting and finding new blogs and new friends, because that's what BEDA is about really, isn't it? Connecting and finding new people to call friends?

I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Preparing for BEDA!

Hey guys it's been quite a while, such a long time in fact that I was unaware that they changed the blogger web design and I'm really confused.

In my personal life, I think I've finally turned that corner I've been looking for probably as long as you've been bored enough to read my blog. I actual feel like getting up in the morning, I actually try to go outside and do things, I'm writing again, talking to people I've neglected and pushed away in the last few years. It feels good, really good. I'm not sure how long it will last this time, but I'm hoping it will be around for a while. I've missed participating in life.

In other news, I will be doing BEDA (Blog Every Day in August) this year. I'm really going to do. I'm going to focus and do stuff worth blogging about and live a life this year. I have to. I've made this promise to myself. Even if all I have to show for the the day is a crappy work story, I'm going to tell it. I need to put words to paper (or internet in the is case) every day again and way to start that with BEDA.

What else... OH! last week I got a tattoo!

It's the Deathly Hallows, and around it says "The last Enemy Defeated is Death" It's a horrible photo, because it's incredibly difficult to take pictures of you ankle with your webcam. I really love it, but right now it itches like a mother. 

I think that's all I have for right now. I'll talk to you all in a week :)

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Books read: 15

Currently reading: Ripper by Stefan Petrucha

Hi, strangers

Hi, I haven't been around for a while, mostly because there hasn't really been much going on, I've most been sick. I spend most of my time sleeping, which is kind of lame, but it's really the only way I can battle the spinning.

The last month has probably been the worst that it's been since it started, which sucks so hard.

I know literally no one cares about the fact that I'm still dizzy, but it's the only thing going on in my life.

Besides that, my best friend, Video Game Boy, for those of you who have been around that long, is getting married this summer, and my little sister, Noelles, graduated college. Two weekends ago my best friend from middle school's little sister turned 21, so I got to go to that party, which was pretty fun. I saw The Hunger Games with my friend and her boyfriend,  and that's pretty much everything I've done since the last time I blogged.

I just want to be better, but it keeps seeming more and impossible the longer I'm sick.

On the plus side, Stranger than Fiction starts next week, so I have that to look forward to as always.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Another angst filled this is my life, what is wrong with me post.

I don't get it. I mean, like, why do I attract crazy people and chose them to be my best friend?

I have two really awesome friends now, and I'm pretty sure aren't crazy, but with the way my track record is going, I'm slightly concerned for their mental health at this point.

Two weeks ago Tuesday I was supposed to meet Q at a pizza place to grab lunch since I haven't seen her in forever and stuff. So I'm driving to the place and I'm running late, so I text her saying I'm on my way. I don't get a response, so I figure she's, you know, eating. I get there and her cars isn't there and neither is her boyfriend's motorcycle. So I wait, I text her again about 15 minutes later asking where she is, a half hour after that she texts me back and says she's not coming because she's half way across the state and her phone died.

This is not the first time she's blown me off and decided not to tell me. I mean, I  doubt she left her house with a dead phone, and she's a hour away from where we were supposed to meet and she couldn't text me. I was a little bit annoyed. So I haven't talked to here in a week and a half. Thursday my other two friends and I went to Boston for a birthday. All of us have that we're going as our facebook statuses, we've been talking about it for a while, Q texts me while all of us are in Boston and asks if I'm still mad. About 5 hours later, I text her back and tell her I'm not mad, just aggravated and annoyed at her inability to keep plans or at least let  me know before I rearrange my life to meet with her that she's not going to show up.

She texts me later that night and asks me how to fix it. In my head I'm, like, just say you're freaking sorry and we'll move on, but I waited and this afternoon I told her that I couldn't be in a one sided friendship again. I just wasn't going to do it. If she wanted me to be her friend, because I honestly believed she was my best friend and I hers, that she had to put it some effort.

She told me I was being melodramatic, and told me not to worry about her baby shower that her mom would do it. And that's when I completely freaking lost it on her. I just flipped told her she was being selfish, and all I wanted was a friendship in which I could rely on the other person. I'm not trying to be needy or greedy or really thought that I was asking for too much when I ask for a fucking phone call to tell me that you're not going to fucking show up so I don't wait in a parking lot for a hour waiting for you, or drive half way to Dover to get a text minutes before we're supposed to meet up saying you're not going to make it. I was asking for courtesy, friendship.

I didn't think I was asking too much, but apparently I was.

She told me to have a nice life.

So I told her she was just like Abby, and Georgie, just as heartless and cruel as they were. I told her that there are way easier ways to tell someone you don't want them to throw you a baby shower.

She told me again to have a nice life, so I said "I will have a wonderful life now that it no longer has you in it."

In the end I was a little bit childish, but whatever, she deserves it as far as I'm concerned. She started it. But really all she had to do was say she was sorry, and everything would have been fine. I don't get why that is worth throwing away a friendship.

I guess it just meant more to me that it did to her.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I have plans to wear a shirt that says "life" on it and hand lemons to people on street corners.

Books read: 9
Currently (re)reading: Looking for Alaska by John Green