Saturday, March 31, 2012

Another angst filled this is my life, what is wrong with me post.

I don't get it. I mean, like, why do I attract crazy people and chose them to be my best friend?

I have two really awesome friends now, and I'm pretty sure aren't crazy, but with the way my track record is going, I'm slightly concerned for their mental health at this point.

Two weeks ago Tuesday I was supposed to meet Q at a pizza place to grab lunch since I haven't seen her in forever and stuff. So I'm driving to the place and I'm running late, so I text her saying I'm on my way. I don't get a response, so I figure she's, you know, eating. I get there and her cars isn't there and neither is her boyfriend's motorcycle. So I wait, I text her again about 15 minutes later asking where she is, a half hour after that she texts me back and says she's not coming because she's half way across the state and her phone died.

This is not the first time she's blown me off and decided not to tell me. I mean, I  doubt she left her house with a dead phone, and she's a hour away from where we were supposed to meet and she couldn't text me. I was a little bit annoyed. So I haven't talked to here in a week and a half. Thursday my other two friends and I went to Boston for a birthday. All of us have that we're going as our facebook statuses, we've been talking about it for a while, Q texts me while all of us are in Boston and asks if I'm still mad. About 5 hours later, I text her back and tell her I'm not mad, just aggravated and annoyed at her inability to keep plans or at least let  me know before I rearrange my life to meet with her that she's not going to show up.

She texts me later that night and asks me how to fix it. In my head I'm, like, just say you're freaking sorry and we'll move on, but I waited and this afternoon I told her that I couldn't be in a one sided friendship again. I just wasn't going to do it. If she wanted me to be her friend, because I honestly believed she was my best friend and I hers, that she had to put it some effort.

She told me I was being melodramatic, and told me not to worry about her baby shower that her mom would do it. And that's when I completely freaking lost it on her. I just flipped told her she was being selfish, and all I wanted was a friendship in which I could rely on the other person. I'm not trying to be needy or greedy or really thought that I was asking for too much when I ask for a fucking phone call to tell me that you're not going to fucking show up so I don't wait in a parking lot for a hour waiting for you, or drive half way to Dover to get a text minutes before we're supposed to meet up saying you're not going to make it. I was asking for courtesy, friendship.

I didn't think I was asking too much, but apparently I was.

She told me to have a nice life.

So I told her she was just like Abby, and Georgie, just as heartless and cruel as they were. I told her that there are way easier ways to tell someone you don't want them to throw you a baby shower.

She told me again to have a nice life, so I said "I will have a wonderful life now that it no longer has you in it."

In the end I was a little bit childish, but whatever, she deserves it as far as I'm concerned. She started it. But really all she had to do was say she was sorry, and everything would have been fine. I don't get why that is worth throwing away a friendship.

I guess it just meant more to me that it did to her.

today is awesome because I have plans to wear a shirt that says "life" on it and hand lemons to people on street corners.

Books read: 9
Currently (re)reading: Looking for Alaska by John Green

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

On Doctor's appointments and Space.

Firstly, my high school English teacher is in a contest to  go to space. It feel ridiculous even typing that, but yeah, trufacts. It's for the Space Needle in Seattle, and they're having a contest to send someone to space, and he's been chosen.

There is now this "Send John Herman to space" campaign and you can vote on facebook and he's meeting to Governor tomorrow and he was on the front page of the newspaper and on the news. It's kind of a big deal. If you want to check it out, or even feel the need to vote, you can click here. The contest runs until the 18th. It's really exciting watching all this stuff happen for him via twitter. It's awesome.

In other: I had a big doctor's appointment on Friday, it was mostly testing, but it was the most obnoxious testing I have ever had.
Firstly I had the weird upside down test that I've had before where they blow air into my ears and stuff, ridiculous. The I had a test in which was I strapped into a chair in a pitch black room and spun in circles for a half hour. THEN I was strapped to the ceiling and the floor and walls moved. But I wasn't expecting it, so I almost fell over, which was awesome. I really appreciated not knowing that the floor was going to start moving.

I don't know the results yet, but I'm willing to bet money that they say that there's nothing wrong with me. Because that's what every test I've ever had has said.