I'm currently reading Dreamlandby Sarah Dessen, and I keep coming across these amazing brilliant lines, just pieces of sheer genius. I know that this lines floated around in her head looking for the perfect moment to float out of her fingertips to the keyboard or flow out of her pen. I read them in complete awe of their amazing-ness.




When I read lines like that, I usually underline them, my copy Paper Towns by John Green is filled with thin pencil lines, my Maureen Johnson books are as well. The only books I have that are exempt from my pencil underlining rule are my Harry Potter books those remain pristine, minus the chocolate sauce stains that a chubby 11 year old can't help but cover the sides of the pages of books she's reading with.



Most of the time its a piece of writing that I find funny or brilliant, something that I want to replicate in someway for myself. I want to have the same impact on a future reader that these writers have on me. I picture some girl like me sometime in the distant future, someone I'll most likely never meet reading a book with my name on the cover with a pencil marking something that I wrote and saying "Jeez this is amazing."



I want to be able to create this more than anything in the world. I want to write something people can relate to, something people will want to read over and over, and something that people can quote. I know it's a silly thing to want but I want it.



I think this the reason I'm having such a hard time finding a job. I don't want to sit behind a desk all day doing some stupid job I can't stand. I never want to work retail again in my life. I don't want to have to work for someone I can't stand. The only job I can see myself enjoying is the one I worked last summer, working with MFB and writing. I want to spend hours on end alone in a room with Microsoft Word and twitter open typing away. I just wish there was a way I could get paid to make up ideas, to type away for several hours a day, to read and re-read and re-write and edit, all before a single soul before myself sees it (expect JenJen, since she's my editor).



I know it's an unlikely goal, an almost pointless mission to even try, but I want this more than anything I've wanted in my entire life. And what sucks is that I can't write where I live now. I can't write in my parents house. I can't. Someone is always around, asking questions, making me do something, thinking I'm not doing anything but messing around on the computer when I'm not, I'm working. It's nothing they'd accept as work, but it's work, and hopefully, someday, it will all pay off.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
 
today is awesome because I managed to get half a chapter written before I got too annoyed with my parents and had to stop.
 
Books read: 24
currently reading: Dreamland by Sarah Dessen
recently finished: Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen