I'm currently reading Dreamlandby Sarah Dessen, and I keep coming across these amazing brilliant lines, just pieces of sheer genius. I know that this lines floated around in her head looking for the perfect moment to float out of her fingertips to the keyboard or flow out of her pen. I read them in complete awe of their amazing-ness.




When I read lines like that, I usually underline them, my copy Paper Towns by John Green is filled with thin pencil lines, my Maureen Johnson books are as well. The only books I have that are exempt from my pencil underlining rule are my Harry Potter books those remain pristine, minus the chocolate sauce stains that a chubby 11 year old can't help but cover the sides of the pages of books she's reading with.



Most of the time its a piece of writing that I find funny or brilliant, something that I want to replicate in someway for myself. I want to have the same impact on a future reader that these writers have on me. I picture some girl like me sometime in the distant future, someone I'll most likely never meet reading a book with my name on the cover with a pencil marking something that I wrote and saying "Jeez this is amazing."



I want to be able to create this more than anything in the world. I want to write something people can relate to, something people will want to read over and over, and something that people can quote. I know it's a silly thing to want but I want it.



I think this the reason I'm having such a hard time finding a job. I don't want to sit behind a desk all day doing some stupid job I can't stand. I never want to work retail again in my life. I don't want to have to work for someone I can't stand. The only job I can see myself enjoying is the one I worked last summer, working with MFB and writing. I want to spend hours on end alone in a room with Microsoft Word and twitter open typing away. I just wish there was a way I could get paid to make up ideas, to type away for several hours a day, to read and re-read and re-write and edit, all before a single soul before myself sees it (expect JenJen, since she's my editor).



I know it's an unlikely goal, an almost pointless mission to even try, but I want this more than anything I've wanted in my entire life. And what sucks is that I can't write where I live now. I can't write in my parents house. I can't. Someone is always around, asking questions, making me do something, thinking I'm not doing anything but messing around on the computer when I'm not, I'm working. It's nothing they'd accept as work, but it's work, and hopefully, someday, it will all pay off.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
 
today is awesome because I managed to get half a chapter written before I got too annoyed with my parents and had to stop.
 
Books read: 24
currently reading: Dreamland by Sarah Dessen
recently finished: Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen

THIS is what I have to do

So...
It is currently the 5th of January, and I've read 4 books I don't know if this is oddly disturbing, or awesome (please note that I drove to 50 miles north in a snow storm, then got pissed off for no reason at my friend, and decided to drive home, instead of staying at her house which, honestly, if I had any patience, I would have, but I don't so I just get mad and storm off).
I've been reading the Jessica Darling series by Megan McCafferty, which has a lot to do with the recommendation from Hayley G Hoover (http://hayleyghoover.blogspot.com/), and her excitement of the 5th book which came out over the summer or early fall. I watched her video about it, and I was like "I MUST read these books." So I am, and I drove 100 miles in a snow storm to buy the third one, so if there is a better endorsement of the awesome that is these books, I can't really think of one.

I've been reading so much because we don't have internet, except at strange hours of the night, like now, and as much as I love random tv shows, I don't really watch that much TV. So books it is.
I need to start writing again. I promised myself that I wouldn't stay up all night tonight wondering what happens in the fictional life of Jessica Darling and her friends, but I really want to, and right now my sleep cycle is 5 a.m. to 1 p.m. So I have to do something with my time besides staring at the ceiling.

I want to blog and vlog more, be more internet connected as it is, but this normally includes a drive to either Barnes and Noble, (a store which I'm technically not allowed in) or Tim Hortons' (a store in which I feel like I have to buy something to be in there stealing internet from the Comfort Inn across the street).

I need to focus my energy on writing and editing Universe, and to get it up on the Internet again. I liked having strangers read it, it was like it was real or something. Reading Megan McCafferty's books have reminded me why I want to write, I love books like that.

I’m going to write. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes, I’m sure of it.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY



Today is awesome, because it was girls night with the girls my roommates work with, and I’m pretty sure I have new friends now. :)

a piece of The Center of Our Universe

I wrote this just now. And I love it. So I'm sharing. I feel good about this chapter.

“It’s too much. Meet me at The Pearl in five minutes.” As he stepped ahead of me, he turned, walking backward, his hands in the pockets of his jean jacket, worn thin from years of wear and abuse, the edges frayed from a long ago bonfire Harper thought it would be funny to throw it into, and flashed that smirk, those beautiful green eyes shining back at me. I couldn’t help but obey his every word.

I forgot I had this blog.

With all the 6 thousand other things I do daily (most of them include sleeping, listening to music, and writing my novel), I forgot I had this blog. I haven't updated my other one like I planned to do regularly either, but I'm working on this. I spend so much of my time writing that one would assume I would be good at keeping a blog or diary as well. Well this is not true.

I've heard so many different writer talk about how you're supposed to have a diary if you're a true writer, but these people also say that one most have a fairly good grip on spelling and grammar to be a good writer as well. I personally think that this is why spell and grammar check were invented. And I've tried hundreds of times to keep a diary and I just end up with a ton of empty fancy notebooks with one or two entries in each.

I'll keep working on it though, maybe having to write down everything I do in a day will make me do more things. After all there is more to life than the fictional world in my head and the collective works of Maureen Johnson and John Irving.

and that is the end of this story