I'm currently reading Dreamlandby Sarah Dessen, and I keep coming across these amazing brilliant lines, just pieces of sheer genius. I know that this lines floated around in her head looking for the perfect moment to float out of her fingertips to the keyboard or flow out of her pen. I read them in complete awe of their amazing-ness.




When I read lines like that, I usually underline them, my copy Paper Towns by John Green is filled with thin pencil lines, my Maureen Johnson books are as well. The only books I have that are exempt from my pencil underlining rule are my Harry Potter books those remain pristine, minus the chocolate sauce stains that a chubby 11 year old can't help but cover the sides of the pages of books she's reading with.



Most of the time its a piece of writing that I find funny or brilliant, something that I want to replicate in someway for myself. I want to have the same impact on a future reader that these writers have on me. I picture some girl like me sometime in the distant future, someone I'll most likely never meet reading a book with my name on the cover with a pencil marking something that I wrote and saying "Jeez this is amazing."



I want to be able to create this more than anything in the world. I want to write something people can relate to, something people will want to read over and over, and something that people can quote. I know it's a silly thing to want but I want it.



I think this the reason I'm having such a hard time finding a job. I don't want to sit behind a desk all day doing some stupid job I can't stand. I never want to work retail again in my life. I don't want to have to work for someone I can't stand. The only job I can see myself enjoying is the one I worked last summer, working with MFB and writing. I want to spend hours on end alone in a room with Microsoft Word and twitter open typing away. I just wish there was a way I could get paid to make up ideas, to type away for several hours a day, to read and re-read and re-write and edit, all before a single soul before myself sees it (expect JenJen, since she's my editor).



I know it's an unlikely goal, an almost pointless mission to even try, but I want this more than anything I've wanted in my entire life. And what sucks is that I can't write where I live now. I can't write in my parents house. I can't. Someone is always around, asking questions, making me do something, thinking I'm not doing anything but messing around on the computer when I'm not, I'm working. It's nothing they'd accept as work, but it's work, and hopefully, someday, it will all pay off.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
 
today is awesome because I managed to get half a chapter written before I got too annoyed with my parents and had to stop.
 
Books read: 24
currently reading: Dreamland by Sarah Dessen
recently finished: Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen

The Great Harry Potter Re-read of 2010

Last night I finished reading, for the second time in it's entirety, the Harry Potter series. I've read the first three books, probably five times a piece, and the fifth and sixth ones twice before starting this venture in the beginning of April (The fourth book annoys me, and I couldn't deal with Fred's death in the seventh).

I wanted to re-read them because I wanted to feel a part of something again. I wanted to feel like I did the first time I opened the cover of Sorcerer's Stone when I was 11. I wanted to feel like I missed out of something awesome when I didn't get my Hogwarts letter. I also wanted to pick up on things that I missed, to find the little bits of information JK Rowling left along the way so we could figure it out on our own before Harry did.

I walked back into these books knowing what was going to happen, hoping I could see something I didn't see before, able to connect the dots in earlier books that I hadn't before. I learned to look at Draco Malfoy not as some annoying little prat, but as a confused little kid looking for his parents approval. I didn't even find Harry and Ron as annoying as I did the first time through (Hermione, still annoying).

I remembered my reactions to different parts of the books. Reading the end of first book on my mom's friend Janet's living sofa while all the other kids played video games down stairs. Being very upset when I didn't get the 2nd and 3rd ones for Christmas from my parents, then sitting next to the Christmas tree at my aunt's house during dinner and reading half of Chamber of Secrets. Laying outside at camp reading Goblet of Fire with a group of 9 year old campers, and crying a little bit for Cedric Diggory. Sitting on the pull out sofa in my family room with a broken leg when Sirus died. Sitting under register 10 at Market Basket at 6:30 am when I was supposed to be pulling curtains reading Half Blood Prince, whipping the book at Reckless and saying "OMG I HATE THIS BOOK!!!" when Snape killed Dumbledore and wanted more than anything to call Brittany, who was in French camp and discuss. Sitting at stop lights reading Deathly Hallows and crying like my best friend got crushed with a wall in the KMart parking lot when Fred Weasley died, laughing when Mrs. Weasley called Bellitrix a bitch. Cursing Jo for naming that poor kid Albus Severus.

That is my childhood, this is why these books mean so much to me, these books are a bigger part of my life than I even imagined when I decided to re-read a month ago. I mean, I knew Harry Potter was important, I knew that it meant a lot to me. But now, looking back at this last month, I see that Harry Potter isn't just a book, it's never been just a book, as I'm sure everyone who has ever read them can tell you, Harry Potter is way of life. Harry Potter is something that you walk away from feeling like you've done something, like you defeated Voldemort, like you fought Bellitrix, like you were the one to bury Dobby.

JK Rowling gave us all a gift, and I'm glad I got to re-open it, re-enjoy it, re-love it. And I can't wait to do it again.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY

Books Read: 22
Last read: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Thestrals

I’m re-reading the series, and I came across something that confuses me: Thestrals.


You can only see then if you have seen death. Didn’t Harry see is parents die? Shouldn’t he have been able to see them the whole time? I read a wiki article that said he couldn’t see them when he was leaving Hogwarts after Cedric died because he hadn’t dealt with the death yet, which I can understand. It takes more than a week to process something like that. I remember still being upset about it when the 5th book came out, and I didn't even like Cedric Diggory.

I remember this part bothering me when I read the books the first and second times through, but now I have people to ask about this. So,why doesn’t Harry see the Thestrals through-out the whole series, but only once the 5th book begins?

Books That I've Read this year

I decided that I needed to compile a list of the books I've read so far this year. Someone asked if I was keeping track, and yes I am. I'm currently in the middle of the Harry Potter Re-Read 2010.

1. Extras – Scott Westerfeld


2. Sloppy Firsts- Megan McCafferty

3. Second Helpings

4. Charmed Thirds

5. Fourth Comings

6. Perfect Fifths

7. Liar- Justine Larbalestier

8. So Yesterday- Scott Westerfeld

9. Night in Twister River – John Irving

10. Scarlett Fever- Maureen Johnson

11. 13 Reasons Why – Jay Asher

12. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac - Gabrielle Zevin

13. Good in Bed - Jennifer Weiner

14. PS I Love You - Cecelia Ahern

15. Will Grayson, Will Grayson – John Green and David Levithan

16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone- JK Rowling (re-read)

17. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (re-read)

18. (currently reading) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (re-read)

I'm trying for the 50 book challenge, I did a 25 book challenge last year, but I think I can do it.

I haz purple hair...

So, since I'm like, an old person now (23), I figured that I could dye my own hair. And at this moment, I'm sitting in my room wearing a winter hat as proof that I cannot do such a thing.

I think I left the dye in too long, but Video Game Boy doesn't think it's that purple and his girlfriend likes it. VBG actually said "Oh it like REALLY REALLY deep auburn." and I was like, "Or purple." Then we continued to play mini golf.

Yesterday after I purple-fied myself, and then watched like 5 hours of Sober House on VH1 I decided to venture outside of my apartment, and go for a walk. I have a Gryffindor winter hat to hide my ridiculous hair from the children. I played on the swings for a while, until I felt too creepy being the old person on the swings at that park, so I call VBG and his GF and we ended up going mini golfing and buying ice cream. (we also ate the ice cream)

I love VBG and his GF. A lot of our friends don't really like the GF, but she's cool. She accepts the awkward best friend-y relationship VBG and I have and just laughs when he says stuff like: "Deanna, lets get in your car i'm cold." and doesn't even look at her.

OH that reminds me!! VBG and the GF are moving down the street from the apartment!! So they'll be here for the summer!!! I'm so excited.

AND STF starts on June 8th. I know I won't be making all the shows this year. But I'm SOOOO going to that one. I miss them. It's weird how you can miss people you aren't really friends with, but kind of are. I mean I talk to my HS English Teacher and two of the other cast memebers whom I don't have a nickname for in my blog yet, but I'll think of one, all the time on twitter and stuff, but it's not the same as sitting in that seat and listening to them sing about potatoes and carrots. (I love them)

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
Today is awesome becasue it's opening day for the Red Sox :)

Books read 15
Currently Reading: PS I Love You by Cecelia Ahern

April First = Weasley Twins

CAUTION HARRY POTTER SPOILERS AHEAD.

Because I'm hard core, and awesome, I don't celebrate April Fool's day the way "normal" people do. To me April Fool's day is Fred and George Weasley birthday. Today, Fred and George would be 32, if they were real, and if Fred was alive.

I started a Tumblr about a week ago, (http://www.misuseofairqotues.tumblr.com/) and today I'm uberspaming with Weasley-ness. It's been fun to watch the Harry Potter fans that I'm following uberspam me back. These books, this series has touched so many lives, so many people aren't the same as they were before they opened that first book.

Is there another book series where the birthdays of fictional characters are celebrated? I mean, I can only imagine what Tumblr will look like on July 31st. That should be a fun day, but I hate Harry, so probs wouldn't be participating in that one :p.

It's just amazing to see the Fandom in action, and even doing something like having an internet birthday celebration, I'm glad that I'm a part of it.

Happy Birthday George, RIP Fred

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
do I even have to tell you why today is awesome :)

Books read: 15

currently reading: PS I love you

The Music, a blog post

I love music, just like the next guy that you'll meet on the street. I listen to pretty much any kind of music, although I have to say that I don't listen to new popular music very often, only at clubs and in my friends cars; because of this I tend to find out about bands that have existed for years when they have five albums and I think that I've discovered this totally awesome new band and all my friends have already heard them, loved them, and moved on.

This blog, however, isn't about my awkardly random music collection, but the music that touches our lives. I have many a song that I can't listen to anymore because they bring up deep emotions that I don't want to think about, like Aerosmith's "I don't want to miss a thing."

This particular song sums up my entire middle school and high school life. Everytime I heard the opening notes of that song I see my 8th grade graduation dance everyone in my class crowded in a tight circle, while the 6th and 7th graders paired up to awkwardly slow dance or stared at us as we screamed the words at the top of our lungs. I also see my junior prom, the silver balloons, the streamers, doing that same middle school slow dance with one of my best friends. It's one of those songs that I just love, but the people and places it put in my head I don't want to see anymore. It's not that I don't want to remember high school or middle school, I just don't want to see that kid sitting on a bar stool across a resturant from me, who smiles and waves before I hide my face behind my menu so this random kid I knew in middle school doesn't come over and say hi, I don't want to think that less than four months later he was dead and I could have said "hi," and maybe I wouldn't feel so horrible now.

Most of the songs I can't listen to are songs that remind me of middle school, "I Hope You Dance," by Leanne Wolmack, that song that Faith Hill sings in Pearl Harbor, the song from Titanic. Late ninities power ballads mostly.

I have a lot of songs that in my Itunes that I recieved via a person that I'm no longer friends with, and I've thought about erasing them, because I don't want to think about the first time I ever heard a song, or a band or whatever. Most of this music is weird indie bands, so the "where did you find this?!?" conversation happens pretty often when listening to my music collection.

The song in this collection that means the most and sparks the most memories is "Screaming Infidelites" by Dashboard Confessional. I clearly remember driving up I 95 with the top down cranking this song and screaming at the top of lungs. I love this memory, and I'm not sure where it will end up in the "cherished memories" when I'm old, but now, at 23, being 19 and screaming emo songs as I rode in the passangers seat of my friends car, is pretty high up on that list.

I guess the point of this is to find out how music affects you. Are there songs you can't listen to? Are there songs you just LOVE? Do you always feel the need to get up and dance across a pretend stage when you hear "Johnny B Goode" (okay, that might be because of my love for Marty McFly, and not so much about the song, but the song strikes the memory)?

Let me know reader. (I want to come up with a name for my "readers." I feel weird saying readers when I know that two people actually read this.) Tell me about your life in music.

AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY
today is awesome because I went for a walk with my roommate.

Books read: 14
Currently reading: Good In Bed by Jennifer Weiner