Friday, April 17, 2009

Yea, I really don't want to do this.

But since I got to, yesterday and today sucked.

Part of it was brought on myself, which I know, because I do this kind of thing a lot. It comes with not having friends as a kid, so when I get them I tend to try everything to push them away.
This however started as someone else's issue.

Yesterday was a friends 21st birthday. Since he doesn't drink, I thought it would be cute if we got some sparkling cider and have fake cocktails in celebration. The boys took him out to a movie, and I, along with two other friends were going to set up at about 11 before they boy got back. There wasn't really much to do, just display some cupcakes and pour drinks. One of the boys was going to text me when they were on there way back so we weren't waiting with cupcakes sitting out.

When I went down stairs after the text, I was told at the door to "Go away."

So I did. I take "Go away" as telling me that I'm not wanted and shouldn't come back. So I didn't plan to, and went upstairs to cry, because that's what I do.

Then someone who had nothing to do with the party, kept texting me telling me to come down. I knew I wasn't wanted down there, so I said no. Which just got everyone pissed.

Today, I just want to be alone. I just want to be away from people who told me that I wasn't allowed at a party that was partly my idea.

I also have 140 page paper due on Thursday that I only have 95 pages written of, because it wasn't supposed to be due until next Thursday. These people came and banged on my door, and demanded I come drink with them.

My life isn't all drinking, and it's never going to be. I have to look out to my future, and this novel is my future. I know what's best for me, and it's not going to where I will feel unwanted and just leave there crying.

But anyway, now everyone hates me and I once again have no friends, but all the props and sets for the play their putting on is in my car. So yea.

and that is the end of the story

Today is awesome because I managed to fix my ipod by myself.


  1. i still love you. <3

    want me to come beat them up for you? ;)

  2. hello! This is Renee.... I am your new BEDA Buddy... nice to meet you...
    I'm sorry that happened with the person saying go away, I understand, I would have felt the same way....
    I don't have many friends so leave me a message anytime, I'll be there for you